Lately, I've been having a lot of dreams about Adrian. I haven't spoken to him in quite sometime. I got AIM about a month ago and he sent me a youtube video which made my heart skip a beat. I was so angry and felt loved at the same time from someone that's 3k miles away. I always wonder if I made the wrong choice but I'd like to think that I didn't. But why would I get butterflies when I shouldn't? I can't help but feel bad about it.

Things with Christian have been, well, better than before. They could improve but it's hard when the man you're with is just as stubborn as I am. These past couple of months have been a struggle for me and I really hope that in the end, it all works out for the best. The last thing I need is another heartbreak but who's to say it won't happen again?