ok just to explain myself a little today was probably the best day of my life but for a few hours were the worst i haven't felt that used in so long...ok so i went to lagoon and it was so fun i hung out with my friends...i even held hands with this one boy...((note to him: i don't want to make moves...i'll flirt you do the rest...)) which amazes me because he usually...well i don't know what i'm saying...i can't stand it he only cuddles with me when it's just us or no...lets see old girlfriend ((there are two))or a girl who i'm pretty sure was very mad you for a while but then all the sudden she was all over you and...grr!...i hate being a "cuddle buddy" if you call it that...i feel so tourchered...i feel so dumb i didn't think every you of all guys could make me cry...i cried all the way home...could you believe it...i changed busses to sit next to him and he decides to sit in the seat in front of us...so he can sit with the girl who can't make up her mind...it hurt so bad...i feel stupid because i'm only emotionally attached to you but you obviously don't care about others...he hardley looks at me when his latest old girlfriend is around...and i know it's soo "high school drama" but i get mad at her because you don't care about me even as a friend it's like i disapear...i can't believe it...why you of all guys...one of my best friends...i don't know if i'm going to be able to talk to you anymore...*sighs* i hate this world...~emily~