i would like to disclose some super cool lyrics to you Well i thought about the army Dad said, "son, you're fucking high" And i thought, yeah there's a first for everything So i took my old man's advice Three sad semesters It was only fifteen grand spent in bed I thought about the army I dropped out and joined a band instead Grew a moustache and a mullet Got a job at Chic-Fil-A Citing artistic differences The band broke up in may And in june reformed without me And they'd got a different name I nuked another grandma's apple pie And hung my head in shame I've been thinking a lot today I've been thinking a lot today Oh, i think i'll write a screenplay Oh, i think i'll take it to LA Oh, i think i'll get it done yesterday In this time of introspection On the eve of my election I say to my reflection God, please spare me more rejection 'cause my peers, they criticize me And my ex-wives all despise me Try to put it all behind me But my redneck past is nipping at my heels I've been thinking a lot today I've been thinking a lot today I've been thinking a lot today I thought about the army... ben folds five - army