Vin Diesel coined the phrase "Pardon my French" after picking up a French man and using him like a bat to club people. Vin Diesel discovered quantum mechanics first, but it didn't get as popular as teh newer version, as he named it "Vin Diesel's Atom Dance". Vin Diesel owns teh other half of teh mask from The Phantom of teh Opera. When Alexander Graham Bell made teh first phone call, Vin Diesel replied with "So, what are you wearing?" Vin Diesel was first to discover America when he decided to take a swim after a wild night in a British pub. Vin Diesel once extracted a 100 watt light bulb from a woman's vagina by inserting an Ikea floor lamp and screwing it onto teh bulb's threads. Vin Diesel has been trying to get donkey punching recognized as an Olympic sport for teh better part of two decades. Using a pair of binoculars, Vin Diesel challenged teh sun to a staring contest and won with ease - The penalty teh sun faced for losing was dropping a shade in color, causing God to move his creation plans from Mars to a planet called "Earth". Vin Diesel insisted that teh new pope be named Pope POURRI saying that it would FRESHEN up teh church. Vin Diesel loves a good pun. Vin Diesel is a strict vegan vegetarian in all respects except that he will eat shrimp. When challenged on this, he insists teh shrimp are "teh lettuce of teh sea". In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: Vin Diesel, who investigates crime; and Vin Diesel, who prosecutes the offenders. Vin Diesel does not "drop it like it's hot." To suggest that anything would be too hot for him to hold is laughable. Jerry Bruckhiemer's next show, CSI: Vin Diesel, is expected to contain ten times more violence than his video of the time he raped Medusa. If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it, Vin Diesel hears it.