Thanks for the mind fuck down memory lane, sit. cheers.

So. I haven't actually wrote anything in a LONG time. But things are looking up! =) I got a job [[finally!]]. Right now I'm only part time there, so it's kindof beat. But! I just got a job offer from Verizon, selling DSL & land lines in a best buy // circuit city. Working 10-7 on Saturdays & Sundays - 16.50 an hour. SHIT! I'll take it. haha. That gives me the opportunity to pay everyone back, and then save up. Schweeet. Plus I gotta do my Denny's questionaire so I can get that job. Because if I work both of those, then I can probably keep my dollar store one. Then my goal of moving out by next year will ACTUALLY happen. I'll be able to get my license, my car, and be able to afford it. Then once I've moved out, and got the car .. I'm going back to school. So. Things are looking G00D! There's other things going on, that I really can't talk about. 2 of them .. will fuck up my life pretty bad. So I'm not trying to think about them, till I get a definite yes or no. Then there's one thing that just mindfucks me everytime it gets the chance .. and I'm loving it? haha. It makes me all stupid and nervous and giggly like a school girl. Eventually .. i'm going to have that feeling all the time. Not just when I think about it. Been spending alot of time with friends. Which is good, because if I do end up working 3 jobs .. then I'll never see them. But they'll understand that i'm making life better for myself. I refuse to grow up like my parents. I refuse to be like them. I will be better than everyone in my life. Wait and see.

I bang on the door but you won't let me in, 'cause you're sick and tired of me reeking of gin. Locked all the doors from the front to the back, And left me a note telling me I should pack. I walk in the bar and the fella's all cheer, They order me up a whiskey and beer. You ask me why I'm writing this poem, Some call it a tavern but I call it home. Fuck you, I'm drunk Fuck you, I'm drunk Pour my beer down the sink I've got more in the trunk. Fuck you, I'm drunk Fuck you, I'm drunk And I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm drunk! You've given me an option, you say I must choose, 'tween you and the liqour, then I'll take the booze! Jumpin' on Western down to the south side, Where I'll sit down and exercise my Irish pride. Fuck you, I'm drunk Fuck you, I'm drunk Pour my beer down the sink I've got more in the trunk. Fuck you, I'm drunk Fuck you, I'm drunk And I'm going to be drunk till the next time I'm drunk!

Blahh. I'm so wrecked today. My brain is completely non functioning. I seriously just stared at my sit for 15 minutes waiting. I don't know why. lkajd. But I do know. Last night I hung out at Johns with him, Travis, and Kelly. Twas a good time .. especially after we ate the shr00mies. Hahh. I like that drug way to0 much. The only thing I don't like is I spend about the first 45 minutes puking my ass off .. then I go into super trip mode. hah. I sat there and stared at my blanket for about 20 minutes. It was pretty. lol. We watched Dazed n Confused whenever John & I were peaking .. and wow. We just sat there and laughed about stupid shit. Twas a good time. hahaha. Went to Deep Creek yesterday to0. Good times. Went tubing - which is now causing immense pains in my arms. Plus the fact I now resemble crispy mccrisperson. GAHH. I'm so freaking sunburnt. ahh well. later. don't look too hard for what you want cause it could be on the tip of your tounge you're holding back like there's nothing left to it could this be a false alarm I will cast the first stone or leave the first mark but I will leave a lasting impression you beleive what you want and you said what's been said and i do hope you learn a lesson what's your problem can't you see it and you go and blow it like everyone knows you will why don't you get it together now failure's not flattering when will you show yourself when will you show yourself ah, i do hope you learn a lesson you'll never learn your lesson what's your problem can't you see it and you go and blow it like everyone knows you will

LMFAO. Last night was SUCH a good time. I can't believe how much fun I had. lol. Randomness at its finest. - Me and Linds got drunk as FUCK .. and took way too many crazy pictures. - She asked if she could hug Josh. I was like "I dont give a fuck .. you could touch his dick I wouldn't care. Because I know you .. if you were some random bitch .. I'd rip your face off" .. lmfao .. i have no idea. - Saw Dank0 again .. and we took a picture. He engulfed my head. - Hung out with some dude Jason for a good bit. He's a pretty chill kid. - Saw Mr. Magician [Lee] .. we talked for a bit. - My neighbors were there, and I kept fucking with their dad. lol. "What the hell did you do at the bustop?!" .. "We had sex. It's ok." lmfao. - Drank wayy too many shots and/or beers. - Saw Alan .. he's probably gonna DJ my sisters wedding. hah. - Watched Matt & Dan wrestle .. and Matt threw Dan around like a ragdoll. lol - Mike refuses to talk to me if Josh is around. Cause he's a homo. - Mike left .. still wanted to ride me home .. ended up leaving with that Jason kid. - I feel really bad Linds couldn't stay at my house. Ugh. I dont even remember everything else. It was a superb time though. lol. lates.

I can finally say the trifecta of hilarious things has happened in my life. Seriously .. 3 of the funniest moments EVER in life happened in the past 5 years of my life. They can only be summed up in a few words. The Microwave Stand. The Chair. The Steps. The End. That is it. Anytime I have a bad day .. I can remember and laugh my freaking ass off. And they're only funny to those who witnessed it. LMFAO. The steps happened tonight. I havent laughed that hard since the chair. HAHAHAHA. Anyway. Last night was a good time. Finally got john & dani together .. trip trip! I'm so excited for this weekend. Ugly & I did a cap each .. and got an incredible body high. LOL. Trav, Kell, and Jess .. just stared at our eyes. All they kept saying was "OHMYGOD YOUR PUPILS ARE HUGE!". No shit dick. haha. Just wait until saturday night .. they're gonna look crazy as HELL. bahaha. I just gotta remember to wear pajamas, i need to bring a pillow, a blanket, and my teddy bear .. my cell phone charger .. and cigarettes. And I should be good then. As long as people don't fuck with me to0 much. hahhh. It's BAR night! W00P. I'm excited. I thinkkk I'm gonna wear my "we want beer" shirt that I made last summer. SPEAKING OF WHICH - The Genesis shirt that I made is currently MIA .. and i'd really like it back if anyone finds it. THANKS! Yah. Then Ugly & I were talking about the drugs we've done. I've done 90% of them with him .. but I only tried one of them with him the first time. lol. WOW. "This is why you should never ever ever ever do hallucinogenics" haha .. i love big b!

To whomever is posting anonymous comments on my blog .. eatitbitch. Because .. you have no idea what my life is like, or how its gone down. But I refuse to stoop to your level. Just remember, don't judge people before you know the real story. :] ANYWAY. I'm seriously gonna punch James in the face. As it stands right now, I really don't even want him in my life anymore. I thought it'd be great at first. Now, I just want him gone. Stupid fucking coke addict. Yah. I finally found out why he's in a "facility". It's NOT a facility. It's a fucking halfway house. I wish he'd just grow the fuck up. He's 24, and he's been in and out of rehabs, halfway houses, jails, and juvenile detention centers since I met him .. which is about 10 years ago. Seriously. When will he learn. Then I tell him I'm hanging out with John last night. And he starts talking shit. You know what, faggot? FUCK YOU! I dont give a shit that you have some petty hatred for him from the 8TH GRADE. God. He sucks something fierce. Moving On. I finally stopped crying, and the miserableness has pushed itself to the back burner. It'll make a comeback. It always does. I can stifle it for so long .. then it just explodes. But, I was talking to Josh about it last night. He said I'm too emotional, and I cry way to easily. He went on to say that since he's known me .. I cry at least once a week. And he's right. I let my emotions get the best of me, and then I explode, and start crying. What I need to do is get everything under control, and then hopefully this crying shit finally subsides. Cause I hate crying. Saw the movie "300" last night. That movie is fucking GREAT! I can't wait to buy it when it comes out on DVD. heh. Saw the bitch last night, standing in front of his buddies shop. And I used to get angry when I saw him. Anger, frustration, etc .. all used to come bubbling to the surface. Not anymore. It's more like pity now. I feel sorry that he has to live with himself on a daily basis. Just glad i'm not there to watch him self destruct anymore. And as far as bert goes. Yah, you can still kiss my ass. I've been alot happier and alot better off WITHOUT you dragging me down. Put it this way, I was a ship going full steam ahead. You were kindof the anchor holding me back, slowing me down. It's better that I don't have to deal with your stupidity anymore. Speaking of which - didja tell your girl how bad you fucked up yet? Yahh .. didn't think so. Kay. This is long enough. Lates!

For no reason whatsoever I woke up in the WORST mood. I'm so irritated and crabby. But I don't know WHY! It could be because my ex James has been UP MY FUCKING ASS since he got a phone. Now he's texting me about fucking me? I HAVE A FUCKING BOYFRIEND. Jesus. I mean. I would've given him the world 10 years ago. Now I don't trust him. I can't believe anything he says. I just. Want to cry .. basically. I can't handle all of the shit in my life. Seriously, I can't anymore. I can't deal with not having a job, and no one calling back. I can't deal with stupid boys liking me when they know I have a boyfriend. I can't deal with the shit that torments my mind on a daily basis. I hate how some of my friends .. aren't really friends at all. I hate how I'm the piece of shit in my family. I hate this feeling. I FUCKING HATE IT. I want to go take a shower, and just sit there and cry. But I can't. Because I'm watching Logan. ... And kaylah just called .. and i hung up on a 2 yr old. I'm a piece of shit.

I think you can do much better than me After all the lies that I made you believe Guilt kicks in and I start to see The edge of the bed Where your nightgown used to be I told myself I won't miss you But I remember What it feels like beside you I really miss your hair in my face And the way your innocence tastes And I think you should know this You deserve much better than me While looking through your old box of notes I found those pictures I took That you were looking for If there's one memory I don't want to lose That time at the mall You and me in the dressing room I told myself I won't miss you But I remember What it feels like beside you I really miss your hair in my face And the way your innocence tastes And I think you should know this You deserve much better than me The bed I'm lying in is getting colder Wish I never would've said it's over And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older Cause we never really had our closure This can't be the end I really miss your hair in my face And the way your innocence tastes And I think you should know this You deserve much better than me I really miss your hair in my face And the way your innocence tastes And I think you should know this You deserve much better than me (And I think you should know this) (You deserve much better than me) aww .. this is like the best break up song ever. even though i dont plan on breaking up with anyone anytime soon

It's one of those morning where I haven't slept all night, and my brains trippin out on me again. Fuck. Certain things in life just aren't adding up the way they're supposed to. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. It's as simple as this :: Last wednesday night, I found out who my true friends are. Not the - "oh your stuck in oakland? your going to walk home? i'll call you back" .. and then you never do - friends. What the fuck would you have done if something would've happened to me? CRY? Tears won't save me if i'm 6 feet under. Not the -"I'm gonna attempt to kiss you repeatedly even though you have a boyfriend and I have a girlfriend" - friend. That's not friendship pal. That's lust. When you have lust in your heart, there's no room for love. Think about it. I realized I only have about 3 people [aside from josh] .. that will be there NO MATTER WHAT. And they're the most important things in the world to me. The rest of you? Eat me. Oh yahh .. i'm bleeding again. No babies for Dara. Woo Hoo! I burnt my eyelid with a fucking cigarette last night. Don't ask. I dont know. I then spent 10 minutes crying/laughing. Seriously. I was hysterically crying and maniacally laughing all at the same time. And I truly felt both emotions. It was crazy. Jessiey looked like she was gonna freak out. She had no idea what I did or how to help me. lol. I lubb her. Anyway. I'm out. eatitbitch.

Before I begin this blog -> Happy Mothers Day! .. to any and all mothers. Whether your with your kids daily, or you never see them. Whether they're alive, or deceased .. enjoy this day. Anyone can have a child .. but it takes someone special to be a Mommy. Anyway, moving right along. Didn't do to0 much yesterday. Sat around waiting for Dani to call about trip trips. But, sadly, she never did. So john & i settled on a bag, & washington apples that we created ourselves. Needless to say, by 11:00 .. we felt pretty good. Watched a bunch of Oz, and then TV. We were gonna go to southside, but staying in and saving money seemed like a better idea. hah! "Bert" - as far as you go, I have no words. I mean, how could I? I've said it all to you before, you just refuse to comprehend anything I say to you. Thus, the reason we're constantly irritated with each other. I don't want to hear your fucking excuses. "I was drunk" .. "I didn't comprehend anything you said to me that night" .. "I was so confused, I didn't know what was going on" .. Well. You never comprehend. THATS YOUR FAVORITE FUCKING EXCUSE! Next to .. "Oh .. I was drunk". Fuck you - thats BULL! Maybe next time, you won't do this shit to some other girl. You live to mindfuck people. You say everyone else creates drama, and its all their fault. BULLSHIT! I didn't do SHIT the last 2 times. I didn't get pissed over petty shit. I handcuffed you to YOURSELF and you got pissed and threw my shit out the fucking window. Then .. didn't understand why I wouldn't fucking talk to you. Finally I get a grip, and let shit pass, and I hang out with you again. You wouldn't fucking listen. I kept telling you we shouldn't, that you love your girl, and I love josh. I didn't want it. ANYTIME YOU TRIED TO KISS ME. You say your not a typical guy. Again - I call bullshit. Your a fucking asshole. No wonder Julie booted you out of her life. You don't listen. You don't accept what girls tell you. Its your way - or fuck them. Well, I feel sorry for your girlfriend that she has to deal with your stupid, incompetent ass on a daily basis. Did you even tell her that you tried to fucking kiss me - at least 10 times?! DID YOU?! HUH?! No. I bet you didn't. But .. JOSH knows. I immediately told him. He deserved to know that the kid that smiled in his fucking face all night, turned around and fucking backstabbed him. You little prick. Think i'm gonna be upset that your not in my life anymore? NO. I'M NOT. Because, I'm a better person without you. I don't have to deal with a child anymore. LOL. And you know what? Fuck this dude. I'm not gonna deal with your shit anymore. THIS is the best way to solve this. You do your shit, I'll do mine. Stay out of my fucking life, and we'll be good. I'm tired of your stupid, little kid bullshit. Goodbye!

Last night, was one of the best // worst // crazy // & unpredictable nights i've EVER had. Certain parts were REALLY good, other parts were REALLY bad. Josh & I met up with Rob & Steele to drink in Oakland, and their friend John & his girlfriend joined in later. Then after a bunch of games of pool, and quite a few beers later, everyone but Josh, Rob, & I left. Well Josh was tired, and Rob wanted to drink - and I didn't want him drinking alone. So I stayed. I so shouldn't of. Things started off really good. Got some stuff out that needed to be said. Then we switch to another bar .. and shit just got weird. I aint putting the shit in here that happened, because I don't want to get him in trouble with his girl. Because, he should manup and tell her himself. So I got fucking pissed, and left the bar, and started randomly walking around Oakland, calling people trying to find a bus schedule, or a ride home. Finally, I said FUCK THIS .. and started walking home. Meanwhile, it's a 20 minute drive there from my house. [[see why i shouldn't be alone after that much to drink? lol.]] I called Dani, after calling everyone I knew that would be up. She freaked when she heard what I was doing, and came and got me. After I talked to a bunch of randoms .. lol. Fuck. So we went back to her bf's house, and hung out. Ended up eating some shrooms, and smokin a BUNCH of erb. bahhaha. I tripped my ass off for about 6 hours. It was AMAZING for my first time. :] Even though I puked about a half an hour after I ate them. lol. We laughed so hard the entire night - it was so great. "I love the blinkies! Look at the blinkies!" .. "I love the fuzzy. He makes me happy" .. "Did it feel like your pancreas came out of your nose?" .. "MURPHY!" .. "I like hand puppets .. they do whatever I tell them too." .. "I can't close my eyes, because your voice reverberates in my eyelids, and I feel creepy" .. "I can't keep up .. she's talking too fast". haha. Random ass quotes - only 2 of them weren't from me. I was a good time. Dani was a half an hour behind us the whole night. lol. I layed there with a stuffed moose, and cuddled this blanket. It was such a good time. Barely slept at all last night, came home, and took a shower & ate. Slept for about an hour, then Josh came n got me. We went and watched a movie, and then cuddled. I got the best massage ever. :] Anyway .. that's 'bout it. Lates. Your lipstick traces on pillow cases Some things in life are unforgettable Like love, lost, lies and lust and woh ohh Some things in life are undeniable Your lipstick traces on pillow cases Some things in life are unforgettable Like love, lost, lies and lust and woh ohh Some things in life are undeniable

As I sit in look around my room, I'm overwhelmed by laundry. Everywhere I look there's a pile of laundry! wtf p.s - i love firefox, it tells me when things are spelled wrong. ♥ HAHA. Fuck. So last night I was at the tanks, and I packed the 3 footer up. Took a ginormous hit, and started coughing, sucked in a really big lungful of air. In that lungful, I managed to suck in a bug. I ALMOST ATE A BUG! lol. So I spit it out on her bed, I'm like "is that a fucking bug?". She said yah. So I said "fuck. I ALMOST ATE A BUG." haha. good story. ♥ Went & saw my Grandparents yesterday. It felt so0 good to do that, finally. I missed her so much. Their so cute together. They live in one of those assisted living places, and my grandpa HAD to show me everything they had. Haha. We took Logan. OMG, that boy is HUGE now! I love him so much though. Good day with the fam yesterday. Came home, and called Kimmy. Her, and her sister [more commonly referred to as the tank], were in the woods with Kimmys kids, and her boyfriend. Went back there and hiked a bit. MY STUPID BROTHER NEEDS TO LEAVE MY SHIT ALONE. lol. and with that being said, i'm out.

So, about a month ago I was looking through myspace. And I don't know why, but I decided to look up my ex, James. Still don't know if it's a good idea. But I sent him a message, and yesterday he finally sent one back. We spent about 2 hours talking on myspace. It's weird. Like, part of me felt really happy to finally talk to him again, to know he's alright, knowing that he's still .. James. [[which has it's upsides, but theres alot more downsides.]] Then a part of me felt really upset by talking to him. I mean, that kid fucked up my head and my heart for a long time. I didn't trust any guys. This was my FIRST love. My first kiss. The first guy to hold my hand. The first guy to buy me flowers. Yellow roses to be exact. He was what I wanted for so long. But now. I just want to know that he's safe, and he's okay. I haven't talked to him in probably 3 years. It's so weird how the emotions hit you all at once like that. When I was talking to him. I was happy. Then sad. Then I got irritated. Then I was just happy to hear from him again. He wants me to write to him. He's in some sort of "facility." ... yah. Now you know part of the downside to this kid. Everytime I don't hear from him for a long time .. he's put away some place. Fuckin. I've known him since I was 12 or 13. Can't remember. But that's about 10 years. It's crazy to think about. Maybe I should explain. When I was 13, my dad didn't trust my sister, my brother, & I to stay home alone. So me & my sister got shipped off to a family friends house, and she watched us everyday. I really didn't get watched to0 much, considering I spent most of my time with Jamie, either babysitting or doing something randojm. lol. But she knew this Darren that she really liked, so he came over alot. Then he starts bringing his friend James around. Me, being young .. fell head over heels. I thought he was IT. We dated for a month, things were good. He used to sneak out his house all the time just to come see me. I believe the one time he actually tied sheets together, and scaled down the outside of his house. lmfao. But then, he left me for my friend heather. OUCH. Exactly. I hurt for so long, completely avoided him. It got to the point where I couldn't even see Jamie & Darren together, it hurt that bad. A few months go by, and James pops up AGAIN. So, we start dating again .. 1 month anniversery .. he calls. I get dumped .. AGAIN! yay. He left me for Jamies neighbor. Wow. What a fuckin ego boost for my already shattered self esteem. So. After I could stop going over there, I kindof cut alot of them out of my life. I was heartbroken. Talked to James here and there over the next couple years. Hung out with him occasionally. When I say occasionally, I mean once every 2-3 years. HAHA. Before this next part, every time I would see one of james's friends, they would tell me how much he "loves me", how "obsessed" he is with me. Kindof weird, Kindof flattering. The last real memory I have of him, I was dating this kid Harry [kindof], and he showed back up in my life. So, of course, him being James, I started dating him too. Then him and harry both went crazy one night and fought through my phone. It was retarded. So I haven't spoken to him since. And now... he's back in my life. But he's NOTHING compared to my Joshua. &hearts'

fuckyou.

As of late, i've been incredibly frustrated with my job. Maybe it was the 10 day vacation, or maybe it's just the realization that I work such a shit job. I mean. C'mon. I work 6 days [average] a week, I bust my freaking ass there. Rarely call off - unless i'm really sick. And i've been there for 7 months with ONE customer complaint. AND I HAVEN'T GOTTEN A RAISE! I'm there constantly. I do everything they say, with minimal complaints. I get ALL the bitch jobs. Yet, I get no respect, I get nothing. Then yesterday some lady "complained" about me. Yet, her story was completely false. I have never told a kid to shut up, stop it, would you quit yelling. WTF. So I got bitched at, and when I told my side .. they just nodded their heads and were like "well if your upset at work, or wanting to quit don't let it reflect on the customers." WTF. I didn't. So, basically the fact that they automatically belived her, and either didn't understand or didn't care what I was saying. But they pissed me off. AND. I can't work today. I'm sick as SHIT. They'll try & make me come in. I already asked Thomas to go in, he babysits. So, as they say. I'M FUCKED.

mhm. i ♥ this song. it's amazing! it's been a WHILE since i wrote in here. nothing new though. EXCEPT! ---->>> Josh & I are back together. ♥ mhm -> i'm a happy girl! work is long. and tedious. and boring. AND THE PAY FUCKING SUCKS!

LMFAO. Last night was SO much fun, I can't handle it. ¢¾ Went over Bert's house last night with Josh. Met his girl, Amanda. I really like her. She's going to be very good for him. We watched Beerfest. Well. Josh, Amanda, & I watched it. Rob kept running all over the place. Saw his neices & nephew. They're so cute. Nadia kept saying she missed me. Aww .. I missed her to0. I gotta go over this summer and play hide n seek with them again, and jump on the beds. OH! And do their hair. =] So then Rob and I played Mario Kart, and I got schooled in it. haha. Then we played poker, and I kicked ass the first game. We all went in on the second game, and Rob won. Then he won the 3rd. Drank a beer or 2. Then I wanted to go get something to eat. So, I made those 2 come with us. ROB had the bright idea to HANDCUFF us together. I tried to fight him off so it didn't happen. No such luck. He also forgot the keys at home. lol. So. Then we're trying to get from Duquesne to C3 to go to dennys, and I got us lost. lol. But we ended up in the waterfront, and went to Eat N Park. Rob, OF COURSE, had to pee. So we had to run behind this building. And we're coming back, and this chick screams "WHERE'S MY UNDERWEAR! I HAD THEM ON BEFORE! WHERE'D THEY GO!" lmfao. I was done. Actually got a booth. Trying to eat, and drink coffee with my left hand was an adventure in itself. The 2 booths across from us SO knew. HAHA. Then this group of drunk retards came in. And we played gay or straight. haha. The guy on the left was def. gay. "It looks like he just poured a thick load onto his salad". baha. Good times Good times. =] AND .. that is why I was handcuffed to my friend in the middle of eat n park at 3:30 am. lol. ♥ Last night reminded me of so many good times. It made me miss them SO much. I used to have days like that all the time. Now that i'm older, I rarely get to act like that. It just made me sad. But so happy at the same time.

Welp. It's almost my birthday. Today officially kicked off birthday season. lol. My grandparents gave me my card. W00! I made 50 bucks, just for getting older. That rocks. But, as I sit here, thinking of it. I don't want to get any older. In 9 days i'll be 23. Why does that seem so freaking old?! Sigh. As long as I have good friends, good alcohol, and good music surrounding me for my birthday - it'll be just great. =] Got in a fight with bag of douche today. He doesn't realize that I hate it when people blow my fucking phone up. HE DOES IT EVERYDAY. Back the fuck off you stupid moron. If anything - we'll only ever be JUST friends. The end. You had your shot, you fucking blew it. GET OVER IT. Andddd ... i have a few things i COULD do tonight. But all I really want to do is sit around and be a bum. Blah. I really wish I could shut my brain off for about an hour. Because this thinking about shit is driving me crazy. I am a dreamer and when i wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. Whats funny is. I'd love to look into your eyes again. But the worst part is, i'd probably punch your face through a wall if I got the chance. UGH. And. Don't get ideas. That isn't to who you think it is. Or the other person you think it is. So hush your face. I'm an emotional train wreck anymore. OH! Yah. Gotta go get the lump in my breast checked again. The doctor felt it, and went "That's not good. We need to get that checked asap" UGH!

Blahhh. Finally have more than one day off in a row. WTF am i going to do with myself?! lol. Went to the bar last night. Me and my brother STILL aren't talking from our war last sunday. He was a fucking twatwaffle all night to me. Oh well. I'm done caring. He can kiss my ass. And so can his little friend. ;-] Ended up getting pissed at the bar, and just dipped the fuck out - in the pouring rain. Got about halfway home when Mike called, and he came and found me and drove me home. Kinda pissed Josh off, but made up for it. Drank about 90% less than what I normally do. lol. Good times. Camera = Broke Dara = Pissed! Some black lady booked a party. Told us she was going to have everyone in her party arrive an hour early because "if not, they'll show up on colored people time". HAHA. Good times. In fucking PAIN today. The right side of my stomach hurts, my left hip hurts AGAIN, my shoulders, my neck, my back, my head, my throat. I'M FREAKING DYING. the end. la la la .. and i'm stupid and i freaking miss him. i can't help it. apparently we're supposed to hang out on sunday. we'll see. because i dont know how i'll handle being "just friends". =[