I cannot save you I CANT EVEN SAVE MYSELF. It's worthless now. I can see myself begin to widdle down to what will eventually become nothing. I woke up about a half hour ago, read my email and picked up the phone to call Aaron. I finally realize that im about the biggest fuck up that i know. So, yes, let's get this party started riiiight. I've done something that i never thought i would do, and with very shitty reasoning as my back up. HA. Like, i never intended for it to get this far, i didn't want to end it..like, i just wanted to get it out there that things were changing, it just took a that extra step involuntarily, I didn't want this, but i guess i'm stuck with it. Beings as now she's slee...ah. fuck it CCCCCOOOOOOCCCCAAAAAAIIIIINNNNNEEEE! "What's the point of living, if you can't feel alive" On another note, im on the verge of quitting my job, fuckin $5.35 an hour ($4.20 (heh)) after taxes isint enough to help me survive this fucking thing we call existance. So im thinking of hookin up with my boy Vaughn and slinging crack. yes crack. im not gonna touch it (maybe occasionally) but sure ill sling it, if it pulls money in, why the fuck not right? I now realize that the only person that i'll ever have to truly care about is myself. Like, i could cry for doing what i've done, but i could pat myself on the back for opening all these opportunities to myself. My biggest fear: Missed opportunity, NOT REGRET. It's about time.