I've got to get the fuck out of here. Yea, i don't know what to think. Julie jumps at me about some shit that went down saturday night. Around roughly 1am she decided that she wants to leave, and i give her a hard time because i didnt want her to go because i went allll the fuck the way out there to see her above everybody else, and i know that she had to werk the next mornin and shit, but i was a bit unhappy about her brief premature departure, so i gave her some shit about it. Wow, one menial little issue and she decided that she wants to spazz out. Then she compares me to John because i got partially upset about her leaving and didnt say bye. Like, im not some other person, i'm me. I'm rob. Yeah what i did was fucked up in her eyes, and i apologized, but i guess that wasnt good enough for her. whatever. Now on to this bitch. My mother, the queen whore of all. The most bitter person you could ever imagine meeting. The doctor of slutanomics. The other day she was in her normal pissy mood, and she attacks me about not having a job, because oh yeah, THATS WHY WE'RE BROKE, because i dont have a job. I've been unemployed for 3 months, THREE FUCKING MONTHS, and shes gonna call me a loser, a waste of life, everything you could think of. This bitch hasnt had a job since i was fuckin 13, lives off of her vicoden addiction, mooches money off of my stepdad, hasnt earned any money of her own since she sold my grandparents house after they died. She is a waste of life if i've ever met one. My stepdad Bob (Chief) is in the hospital with some sort of cancer in his chest. This guy is the best person in the world to me. He came onto the scene when i was about 3 and took me in like i was his own. Every day we would hang out, him taking over the fatherly responsibilites that my faggot father bitched out on. He was a volunteer fire department chief for 12 years, and everyone respected the shit out of him. But since roughly 2000, hes been laid up in bed with this spinal issue that prevents him from walking, now hes in the hospital because he has horribly bad circulation in his legs, and they come out of nowhere and tell him that he has cancer. I broke down and freaked out when i heard that shit. He is more my father then my real father is, and id rather be there taking all of that pain instead of watching him endure it. I would switch places with him in a heartbeat. I love him to death(and beyond). John is a dickhead. I care not to speak anymore on that. I have the biggest fucking migraine. Like i said at the opening, i need to get the fuck out of this place, start somewhere new. Start a new life, start over. I'm doing nothing but failing here, failing with Julie, failing with everything, i can't take it anymore, and i need to get out before i suffocate myself and end up doing something stupid that i'll regret for fucking ever.