the most fucked up thing happend to me last night. i woke up. i closed my eyes, i heard laughing, but it was in my head, and it was my sister laughing. and then i opened my eyes, and was like what the fuck is going on. so then i closed my eyes again, i heard more laughing, but it was a group of people laughing. so i opened my eyes, and was like..okay..weird shit. and i dont know if this was right after, or i fell asleep again, and woke up, i dont remember, but then all of a sudden BOOM my whole body was like numb, but i felt this huge pressure pulling me down onto the bed, i didn't open my eyes cause i was freaked out. this has happend to me before, just not as bad. i think its sleep paralysis, but i dont know if thats it forsure but im sure i need to see someone about it. so then ya..that huge fucking pressure and everything, and then i tryed moving my feet but it was really hard, but as soon as i started moving them, the pressure and the numbness went away. and i opened my eyes, i was like..well thats fucked. so i just closed my eyes again to try and sleep, it happend again. so i moved my feet, opened my eyes, and was like..what the fuck..again..hha, so then i close my eyes, and it happens again! but this time it was really fucked, kay you know when you suck in, and you can feel everything going into your ribs, thats what it felt like, but it didnt feel like i was doing it on purpose..i dont know i cant explain then i heard my mom, and i thought she was bitching at me, i heard "her" say "SHIT" and then the stuff that was said after i couldnt make out because it kept repeating but it was like..intwind, if that makes sense, like it was being said like 10 times, at the same time, so it was kind of hard to make out, then i opened my eyes, and didnt close them again. i turned my TV on for light, and read the book i'm reading, "naked lunch". and its not drugs, because i was totally sober that day, and i have been for probably more then a week. so i dont know what the fuck it was. but ya..when my "mom" said shit and whatever else was said, in my mind i saw my mom standing at the door, and i was hoping she'd get help, but she wasnt bitching at me..she had this scared look on her face, and then i could see me on the bed, and my face was terrifed, like i didnt know what was going on..kind of like..if someone is having a seizure..they get that look on their face..i cant explain..and it sounds crazy, but it was fucked up..and i wasnt sleeping i made sure i wasnt sleeping the first time it happend, so i could be totally awake. it was just fucked and i really want to know whats wrong with me.