within a month or two of knowing you, before we had sat on that couch where you had told me you loved me, you told me you loved the existence of me.

i felt it deeper in my mind, my body, my soul, my heart, my whatever that feels feelings the deepest, i felt it there.

you weren't yet telling me you loved me or you were in love with me,

you simply loved the existence of me. the possibilities of this were endless.

it was like i could do no wrong, i could say nothing that would turn you away.

anything i did or could do, you loved. anything i'd done or may have done, you loved.

and i will never be able to express in words or actions or gratitude the amount this meant to me during one of the darkest periods of my life.

and this, this is why i fell head over heels in love with you within three short months, when previously it had taken this long just to make a new friendship for me.

i was sure you understood me on a level no one else had ever even tried to understand me before.

i was sure my existence meant something, if to no one else, to you at least.

and when seven months later, seven months after i had realized i was in love with you, you left without a second look...

this is why i was more devastated and more hurt and more confused than i had ever been when it came to love.

i had always been the one leaving; i didn't know how to comprehend being left.

you taught me how to be loved and you taught me how to be left.

so now i'm just still sitting here trying to figure out how it is fair to be taught both by the same person