i feel like my story ends here, but i'm not ready for it to be over yet. what i want and what i do are so opposite of each other, anyone on the outside must think i'm crazy.
i say i'm becoming numb but i cried myself to sleep the past three nights.
i say i'm ready to be alone but it scares me more than anything.
i say i can't give out any more of my heart but i feel it stretching and growing still, waiting for the next boy that tries to court it.
I know your heart may be badly bruised, and the victim of a pretty savage knifing on at least one occasion. But it always heals (even if you don't really want it to) and it keeps going. The heart is more stubborn than any brain.
At times like this in my own life, as hard as its been I've found that the most effective thing to do is admit what you really want. Not whats good for you, nor what makes sense. Just admit what you want; you don't even have to reach for it. But just consciously accepting that you want it can open doors... it can be scary, but sometimes you have to deal with scary shit in order to progress in life.
There are the most fantastic, beautiful things and people out there. Its up to us to find them.