i've never so actively worked to not think of things or people or places. i've tried to memorize dates and names and wars for tests and i've always remembered proper grammar and sometimes i have to try hard to remember what movie or song that quote is from but those times of thinking take me to my end result and to what i want to know and to an answer.
thinking of you takes me to pain and regret and sadness and nostalgia. so i try to not let my mind wander there but my subconscious keeps betraying me.
you showed up in my dream again last night.
please leave me
alone.
We study for tests, and we commit things to memory... only to have them dissipate like smoke when we call upon that knowledge.
But when we try to forget, and try to distract ourselves.... they seem to dig their claws in and refuse to leave.
Memories are like kids. The best way to motivate them is to tell them to do the opposite of your real desire it seems.