Im so proud of myself i finally got a job and its lasted longer then my last job which wasn't to long. And i know sonny is proud of me casue im doing better im working and im going to school. But the one thing i want to make even better is our reationship and i really hope it does. I don't want to go through all the arguing and yelling and screaming i jsut want to be happy and im sure sonny does to. It's like people say shit that how can i be ina reationship with some one being older than me but i don't care i love him and my philosphy is that you can't help who you love if you love that person than love them with everything you have. I know sonny is like that but i can't wait for our counselling to start then we can work on having a better life and reationship i want to be able to smile and laugh with him i want him to beable to not yell i want him to help make things get better i also want him to do a little more for me by being there romanticly or emotionally hold my hands hug me without me asking for one to be open with me with his love. I know its a lot to ask for but i want the relationship we had when we started to date. But that may never come cause thats long gone we've already gone through so much. I really hope we can get though this together and love each other till death do us part but thats only if he ever asks me which i hope he will. I wonder what our 3 year anni will be like i hope it will be special and meaingful and fun. I jsut really hope he know that he means everythign to me and that i love him.