I know i I always biych and complain about him but i really can't take it anymore. He fills my head with so much negitivity like your getting fat, If you get any fatter i don't want to be with you. Why do you where those type of clothes, You don't look good, Im a bitch, im a cunt. I mean isn't the one person that is suppose to care about you that you care about suppose to make you feel good about themselves. But how can you when you have somebody always putting you down. Its not fair to have to live like this. I want sombody to be there for me when i'm down or just hug me whent they see me. But he can't do that i try to do that but he just pushes me away. As if he doesn't care. So my question is if he doesn't care which he has told me from time again then why does he still hold onto me.? Reasons why i stay is casue i think things will change fro the better and 4 years is a long time and i do love him but im just stressed to the level that sombody at my age couldn't handle. People say to me that im with him for a father figure but thats not what i want from him. He was a great person when i met him but his excuse now is that i made him this way. The truth iss he made himself that way. Then a christmas he bought me a ring and asked me to marry him. Of course i said yes but now that he trows at me which is like a knife to the heart is that i made him to that. To be honest yeah i wanted a ring or something to that value just to symbolize us that we have been together for 4 years and it means somthing. Even my family asked how come he hasen't gotten you a ring yet or anything. My answer is i don't know. So yeah he goes and buys me one but it was his choice to do so and it was his total doing of asking mt to marry him. Isn't that kind of thing suppose to come from sombody's heart but no he doesn't have a heart and if he does ita a pretty cold one. To have somone say that you care about and that you think cares about you you made me do it. THe type of person is a ruthless cold hearted no careing asshole. And that is what he is. And i know i do diserve better but how in the hell do you walk out of a 4 year realtionship that you pray and hope to last forever. But you nkow deep down in the pit of your stomach that it won't. I don't know i think im just as fucked up. And lost in my head instead of listening to my heart.