things are still goin ok but for some reason i just feel so frustrated with everything that happends at home and etc. i don't know why is it casue im bitchy or am i just like this casue i wish it was just me and sonny alone and no problem or anything. its like yeah i may be engaged to sonny but his kids are such a had full that its drives me nuts but even with money sonny always wants me to help him the thing is i do help him i help with his spoiled kids, his bills and payments buying him things when i know he needs something. i can care less about these things but i just want somthing in return he doesn't do anyhting specail for me anymore lik he use to. he use to write me poems and draw me pictures and i found this so sweet like i still do it for him and its just to make him feel specail. but he claims hes to old to do that and people grow out of things like that. but i didn't fall in love with someone who just decided that he didn't want to do anything specail for me anymore i fell in love with him becasue he made me smile or cry casue his words would touch me so strongly. yeah he doesn't write them well then say them to me but he doesn't do that either. don't get me wrong i love him and his family with all my heart i just want things to be easier in life with everything thats bad jsut goes away. but hey thats just a dream that will never come true. so what am i usppose to do? take each day but each day and live no matter if its shitty or just perfect. wow what a line but i guess its what you call life and life just isn't normal.