Yeah i know the title of my diary is named after a song but the thing is the name is so true. Yeah i mean we hvae our great days where wow im so happy and then when the days are so bad i just wish i wasn't here. maybe that is normal but then again what is normal. see i do love him but i just wish that he would just trat me as if i am the love of his life not his kid and some one he can yell at. Some times i ask my self what did i do to disever this but i can't answer that. This realationship must mean somthing we have been together for 3 1/2 years. But hey maybe thats just tje period in my life where i am suppse to be. But hey i do love him i love him so much. i just wonder if he knows that or if he does know then does he realize. i just wish all the yelling and hatered would just stop. it hurts me so much to know that he just blames it all on me. I don't understand why. like he says then reason why im like this is casue of you u made me like this. The thing is how can i make somone like that hes the one who yells and screams and swears i just bag him to stop. i just wish we were happy to the extent that we didn't argue so much. I just wish it was still like when we first met. but i guess realionships are always like that when they first start out. Its like every time i try to talk to him about how i feel or tell him about my day he says i don't want to hear it i don't care im not listening how can there be a realtionship if he can't listen. i listen to everything he has to say when hes sad or upset. like i ask him how his day was and i listen. Its like my family has asked me how come sonny hasn't bought you a ring yet. i just say i don't know but i want him to cause i want to be with him but i mean yeah he calls me some times by mrs ramos but i mean does he really want to make me mrs ramos. U know he yells over everthing no matter what it is it like why is he so angry. is he angry at me or just every one. i always ask him stop yelling just talk or stop swearing but he doesn't care he can't even do that for me or his kids he just like that i guess. I would do anything for him but would he do the same he says he will but man half the time i don't even know. I would love to spend my life with him and never let him go. but half the time i don't think that what he wants casue he doesn't treat me like he wants to be with me all the time. its like if i don't do somthing he yells if something isn't done right he yells if i say something wrong he calls me names and yells. why does he do that wy can't he stop doing that and just talk or no say anything at all. yeah i know im not perfect but do i really make him that mad or does he hate me that much that he does that. we could be in the greatest mood we are happy we are laughing but if i say something stupid or if i do somthing wrong he flipps out then an argument starts i don't get it. I wonder if even does. i just hope he know that i do love him and i will always be there but i just pray things get better and all the yelling can just stop and we can be happy