Ahh things have been so up and about lately. I haven't had much time to sit down and write or to sit down and think. I need that time, and i used to have it alot. But it seems as if i am never home anymore or never alone anymore..there is always something for me to do/or someone to hang out with. I think i am going to take a weekend off from all the going out to the mall and babysitting and what not..and just think and think and write about things that have been good or bothering me. I've always wondered why people get SO stressed out or SO irrated for not doing something, and it's cuz they don't have time to themselves to sort things out piece by piece. I miss being able to come at least once a week from school and just like sitting in my room doing nothing..cuz i had no homework or no where to go. I have so much going on lately, i scare myself..maybe things will die down at the end of the month..I hope Feb. is a better month..my birthday/valentines day/friends birthdays..and maybe i'll get what i want.. January has not been the best month and neither was December..maybe since it was the end of the year, and the beginning of a new..but who knows..i just want it to get better. I'm so sick of putting myself down. I need some time to myself..