omg i'm like never home on a friday night,and this is kind of weird because i am home..and doing nothing but talking on the phone and updating this. i haven't had a friday night off for like a while. i had plans but then my rents decided to like kind of ground me/well like the grounded my whole fam. which is me and my siblings. with kind of sucks..but i don't really care. i sit in my room on the phone and computer and thats about it. anyway i haven't talked to him in a long time, and i'm kind of upset about it. he was talking to me alot, like leaving me messages all the time. and now like im not sure whats going on. i want to hang out with him so we can talk about everything like in person, not just online cuz how do i know he just isn't saying something to me to make me happy..or whatever..i'm not sure anymore. im so in love it scares me. ive tried so hard to let him go, but i just can't do it..i've done so many things to try and do it..put him in the back of my mind and move on..but it's impossible to me..and i just..just..can't do it..im sick of running from my feelings, so basically im making it worse on myself and there is nothing i can do about it. next thing you want to hear..this week was pretty bad to me. i've been thinking to much lately which makes things seem down in the dumps for me. and i guess i needed this weekend kind of off..so i could clear my head of a ton of things. i've been going to bed really early too just so i can get enough sleep but i seem to wake up all the time in the night when i go to bed earlier ..instead of going to bed late and not waking up anytime in the middle of the night. im not sure what is better,cuz they both seem pretty interesting. i hope ya'll are having fun on your friday night..i know im not. but hey that's life and when your a teenager you don't always get your way.. love you..(())