and i don't know what to do about it, him, this. i had been hoping for it to happen and now that it did, i feel hollow and melancholic. i wanted things to happen differently. it was nice, and he was beautiful and i was comfortable, but that was then. now i am feeling incredibly insecure. what the fuck is going to happen now? i'm afraid that i have become the girl the guys want to get with. the girl that no guy wants to be with.