thank you for returning

Listening to: all the young dudes
my parents came back last night after ten days in europe. i have never in my life been so excited to see them. my brother was a complete nightmare while they were gone. shit was weird. the only good thing about my brother that i enjoyed was his friend evan taking refuge at my house, now i look at him like an unofficial younger brother. they apparently had a fab time, although my father told me in secret he was tired of the sheer amount of tourists and the exhuberant prices (i went through his 1400 pictures and definitely noticed major crowds, and he told me in paris it cost him $16 for two coffees.) i'm happy they enjoyed themselves overall though, after being married twenty five years they deserve to get the fuck out of kirkland and leave their nightmarish children behind. --- marilyn manson in montreal tomorrow night. holy fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. designer drugs coming november 13 !!! it starts at 8, i finish work at 9.. so i'll only be there at 10.. but maybe they'll fire me and i will be free to do what i want! i missed felix cartal's show on saturday night. again. just like i missed the varukers, both nights they were at katacombes. fuck man, i really have to stop missing stuff i know i'll enjoy. it sucks later on.
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of course it's not you. never.

i am excited to see you tomorrow, but am not excited for the party. people at dawson keep approaching me, letting me know how wasted they will be and how much fun it'll be. and i can't help but think, really? i forget i'm even hosting it. and i haven't been drunk in a while, and i'm feeling under the weather + slightly sad so i'm scared of what might happen when alcohol is tossed into the equation. i'll either be a catastrophe or sober, but definitely happy to see you. i miss you terribly.
love you.