I'm totally only writing this so I don't have to do homework for a while longer. Going to a university where everyone goes home every weekend makes Saturdays on campus totally dead. My roommate went home too. There's no one around, and I kinda like it that way. Maybe I really am anti-social. Which is a little problem, since I keep complaining about wanting a group of friends, like I had last year. I guess I don't know what I want, or maybe I want both. After all, if I'm gonna have the damn cake, I'm damn well going to eat it too. I had the overwhelming urge to go home yesterday. I was just so lonely. Owatonna itself is like a friend. Just being there makes me feel better. And I would get to sleep in my own bed, be with my parents, go to my own church, and see Neil's family (which is almost like seeing Neil). But I forced myself not to call my mom and beg her to bring me home. I'll be okay. I'll go home next weekend. I remember how proud I was of myself when I only went home once or twice total during first semester, because I'd gone home so often at St. Olaf. When I transferred that's one of the things I regretted the most was not staying on weekends more often. I felt like I had missed getting to know my friends as well as I could have, and now I don't have the option. Some people say college is supposed to be the best four years of your life. Honestly, I liked high school better. College has only been two years of working my ass off for nothing. All work and no play? Not quite, but close. At least MSO starts up again on Monday; that will keep me from going insane. I don't know what I would do without orchestra and Blitzen. Work helps too. I love my job with Campus Security. And classes usually keep my mind off how miserable I am. I think I'll just try to enjoy this alone time while I have it in abundance. I'm going to get some homework done today, practice, watch Sweet Home Alabama (yes, again - this will be the sixth time in two weeks) and go to Comedy Sportz tonight and laugh my ass off. I'm so glad I started writing again. I think this is exactly what I need right now. I had forgotten how therepeutic this thing used to be. At first I was a little wary about starting a sitDiary again because of what happened last time - boy I liked found it and read all about my huge crush on him - but this time I am more worried about employers and such. You hear all these stories about people getting fired because their boss found their Facebook or whatever and saw them doing bad things. I mean, I've got Facebook too and I've never worried about that, so why would I worry about sitD? Granted, this is a little more personal. But fuck it; I've got nothing to hide, at least from people who might want to hire me.