and even though friday is suppose to happen and be "grand" to my expectations i'm lost and i haven't gotten a step forward or backward. if only he were more like.. yeaa. but ? reasons to all of these things? am i getting what I want. it goes both ways and i need to know these things. i don't need games and such. i whine to much but i can't help being blunt. i wish someone would pick me up, take me out, and show me that i am loved by someone. i want to be showed something glorious and i want to be shown what life is. and by me having fun, my geeky side would come out and my giggling would too. i miss the old times never again to be seen. i'm turning 18 next month, making me an old fucking unloveable hag. man i'm lameee