ahh today , a day to relax and help out my family. even though im grounded it doesnt matter..its not an acuse to go to my grandparents. anyways i did go. i helped out cleaning. i mopped,swept and tidied up stuff. mimi came home and she was suprised we did so much! woo. pap got discharged today. it was great to see his face. but some ppl in my family are being real buttheads. they keep pushing my grandma around and stuff. bout wat do with pappy. whether to put him in a home or not. its up to her. its a hard decision. she has enough to do already. so thats my thoughts. but i watched shrek2,dawn of the dead and the passion of christ (which was amazing) i know im catholic but i never really had a real strong belief in god and wat i was taught through confirmation. but the movie was an eye opener. whether i believe in god or not but the figure that is brought to be god is wat i believe in. not the guy but his hope and personality. i want to be like that. forgiving to anyone. and peace. yea w/e you dont need to take me seriously or you may think i think to deeply. buts its my thoughts and there are in MY diary. but i feel really good right now. last night i felt really weird. i dont know why. i was emotional and was crying on the phone to autumn. i guess i have my times. but i want to work on some things right now. mom has grounded me for some things. and im kinda glad. even though i wont see charles this friday..which is my fault. and i want to see him , i know he wont be mad. but now that im grounded i can have time to think. my brothers are going to get their permits tomara. i dont think i am. im not ready. but we'll see. i dunno i feel at peace. so im going to go now. later