too many things make me sad. and not enough make me happy. the trick is to find a balance. the hard part is keeping it. for me. i've done too many stupid things in the past few weeks. those will be left nameless and forgotten. you'll never know, either. so i went to see a therpist, i guess. i dont know why im writing this on here. maybe cause i dont care what anyone thinks anymore. but he told me to make a list of my strenghs. and i have no idea what to put. mat suggested that i get along with everybody. but then why dont i have many friends? maybe i get along with people and then ruin all friendships. maybe i just suck. but i miss my friends. a lot. a lot. A LOT. i miss last year. and next year im going to miss this year. and the year after that ill miss highschool. and every year after that ill miss you. i think he should just put me on happy pills so i wont have to deal with this anymore.