Im really just...blank...compleatly. I had a freaky dream last night that i had a child already. They were about...one something like that and i was getting ready on my wedding day. I had a veil on (pinned back) and the ugliest dress ever. lol It was cream with stupid pompom things on it. I want RED not cream for a start and you can forget about the pom poms. The whole pregnant thing has been on my mind all day i felt sick at work alot but since i got home i have been fine. Im thinking that hunger pains added to the fact i felt ill. There was this little boy at work. Like the one in my dream, and he was beside me smiling so i started talking to him and he was giggeling and reaching for my hand so i would play with him for a bit. He was gorgeous. If i do have a child there is NO option but to keep it. I have been through the scare and im NOT killing my child just because its "not convienient" at the time. I would be happy with the baby just be upset that i cant give it the life it deserves at this point in time. Thats my main worry. But i feel compleatly fine now. I still dont feel like i can eat like alot but i get that way sometimes anyways so thats nothing to go by on. I have been so uber tired today. I slept basicaly as soon as i got home. I think its the stress. I never rested properly last night because of it, you never can if your overly stressed. I dont think i am because i dont "feel" like i am. Normaly you can "feel" if your body has changed or that there is something slightly different. Its as if someone has come into your room and moved something you go "somethings different...but im not sure what..." Well i dont have any of that. I just had the sickness which seems to be over now *prays it was just a bug* Bah it sounds like im trying to convince myself but *Sigh* i dont know Arg louise is STILL pissing me off at work. Karin came into see me with Darcy which i was greatfull for cause i needed to see a friendly face but i thought i would be shouted at if i talked to them but no louise when HER friends come in she stands for about an hour and a half talking to them while we are SUPER busy on tills and she doesnt even get shouted at. It pisses me off sooooo much. *takes deep breath and lets the bad stuff go* I have a day off to do nothing but talk to mark all day, that will be so nice :) i havent done that in soooo long. I miss it. I hate being so tired all the time. Damn my diet and not being able to stay awake. Well it will make a nice change tomorrow anyways. I need to just feel loved. I feel so alone at the moment. I just need to be held and told its going to be all ok. Kinda impossible when your fiancé is on the other side of britain. Its not his fault :( i feel so bad because it always makes him feel like its his fault when its really not. Blah I will proberly enter more later.