I was walking home from work, just left joe at his house. It was only about 4:30am so it was JUST light but it was chucking down with rain. No wind, no cold just very very heavy rain and no one for miles, not even a car. I loved it. I felt so at peace. I love the morning, it makes me feel like im the only one in the world and i dont have to worry anymore and I like the heavy rain because when your in that state of mind...the rain just washes away all your problems and lets them run down the drain. There was a point when i was standing at the canal on the lock, just looking for miles...all it was was misty and raining...i looked up above me and there was just a bit of blue sky. The only bit of blue sky right above me, no other sign of light for miles. It was a lovely moment...I honestly felt at peace. Im scared because i feel numb. I feel like i cant trust anyone. I feel like i cant be close to anyone anymore. I know that sounds extream but i honestly feel like i cant feel emotionaly close to anyone anymore cause im too used to being skrewed around or heartbroken. Think my body has just gone into shut down mode. I have too many worries :( I wish it would rain again....