(if you are going to read it, please read it all, it may be worth it) mood selection: at least ten different ones, and there isnt one to combine everything im feeling today. thats why today was just one of those days. im sure guys "pms" too but i dont think it was that. ive had my gay days too and today wasnt one of those, but it was "one of those days". so i got on the bus, and i had the BEST bus ride ever, it had nothing to do with anything, not the chat, not the scenery, not the bus driver honkin and flippin off people who dont stop when the bus stops...no i closed my eyes. and i focused. and we were going 60 down shea, now sixty doesnt sound like fast, but i was on a bus with my eyes closed, and i focused hard to one spot, and all of a sudden i felt like i was on a rollercoaster, zipping by, 3 G's jolting through me, on a bus going sixty miles per hour. i started shivering and my mind skipped a few beats. i felt like i was in shock, but it was so amazing, its hardly indescribable. i did it the best i could....but it happened TWICE, it was so awsome, i tried to do it again, it seemed like i was using some kind of psychic power or something, to sooth my body and mind, i felt incredible, and yet, strange, i felt as if others around me were watching because it honestly felt like a seizure, not that ive had one but that from what it looks like i sort of related, anyway. from that moment i knew today would be, one of those days. and it was. early in the day, i wasnt tired, but then i was, and that fluxed a few times, and then my lips were sore as hell in band so i was mad. then in spanish i felt alone and got into the mindset that i was just, there, no one cared, but then i didnt either, and that kind of made me feel wierd. and at lunch, i cant even remember what happened ahh now i do, i sat with an old friend, that was a big difference, hadnt done that in a while. and in chem i started freaking out, didnt understand anything, it was as if my brain had shut off and used up its energy to make me feel good on the bus. i dont know, im not taking drugs dont worry, but i dont think any drug can ever make me feel that way, maybe a roller coaster though, those are schwintastic. anyway.....so my mind was totally jumping around in chem 5th period, then in history, i was laid back and people thought i was depressed, and even thought i had broken up with julia, which i would so not do because she is wonderful...and then we presented this thing and i felt really intellectual even though no one understood what i was saying, and we finished a video that period too and i felt lonely again, just...there....not really...whatever....and then strangely enough i felt really happy in 7th period, we had a sub, the bitchiest, most annoying sub ever. she sounded like a parrot only more annoying....and she pissed me off and we gt into an arguement, and i felt superior but i wasnt going to show that, her facial expressions were worse than i would ever show anyone who is pissing me off. wow that was wierd too, to see someones face when they are trying to mock you and know you cant challenge them, even though i did. but then i was excited for some reason and it was crazy. i was just in my own little world today. its interesting what people think about you when you dont seem to be yourself, and the funny thing is i was myself today, but....more of myself, ah yes the things i try to hide from people came out, but its not really hiding them more so as they dont appear hardly ever. but today was one of those days....it finished oddly too, im here writing, and i feel like 3 more undescribable emotions, and i know this is a long entry. i just, love these experiences, only after they have happened of course, because it really makes you think about the world, if you really were depressed its amazing how many people would care that you dont even know would. strange, life and the human mind fascinates me. i just want to see if anyone can relate to anything ive described, cause feeling like someone else out there is just like you makes you feel ok, cause today......was one of those days... hasta mis amigos, hope you enjoyed that piece, its crazy but interesting ;)