wow, my god being a teenager is crazy shit. my gf and i just split up after 3 weeks, and now im over it, i feel bad about that. it just never would have worked out, and ahh its just too wierd to handle. i needed to move on, but i feel like i did it too quickly, only that shouldnt be a problem. and now i dont know where my emotions lie. im jealous of a few friends who are still together. and i kind of have feelings for this one person, who will remain nameless, but they are with someone. and now some mixed feelings are coming back from another person. ill be starting karate in two weeks, my bro already goes, and seeing some of the people there might get interesting. i see them everyday at school, in band, class, or just at lunch. ugh my mind loves playing tricks on me. is it wrong to have feelings for someone a year younger than you? and is it wrong to sort of im not sure like more than 3 or 8 people? ( yes exaggeration and only two of them are younger than me, the others are sadly convinced if only i was older)...life is too wierd right now. because the band trip is coming up fast, two days. lots of story telling about to happen in the next week. and theres a thing on band trips, at least mine. for some reason i always totally want to be with a certain person ,and i cant. and i get really depressed. ah its hard to explain. 8th grade i will always remember. my best friend stole the girl i liked. and then my other best friend and i sat and sulked for 2 hours drinking cherry coke. colby you are awsome. and julie, well, i miss you now that you go to another school, and andy, you too, now that you go to another school. its a shame people come and go. i dont even know what i was complaining about now. ah, band trip. best and worst experiences ive ever faced. so thats why im nervous about it. i want to become better friends with some people, and i want the chance i never got with a certain special someone. im still wondering if that will happen. she is interesting. she doesnt want me, or so i think, but she doesnt want me with anyone else. anyway....i have nothing to say about love, i dont know what it is anymore. all i can say is that i give way more than i recieve, i dont regret it, but its just disappointing. out for now....ill be back later to confess my faults and insecurities to this online world. sometimes i dont think my friends care, and when i turn to the diary, they dont even care either.....