Ahhhhhhh!!! My goodness did this day really turn around for the worst. I went to Joshs and everything was okay I guess, but I knew towards the end of the night that I was going to end up being late. And I was. And my mom even called my cell to see where I was. Great. I just ♥ when that happens. Im getting ready to graduate and I want more freedom and Im trying to prove to her that I can be trusted, and then this happens. And yes, I actually have a curfew. Some of the people I know just stay out all night all the time and no one does anything, but I have to be home by ten on weeknights. So lucky you guys, but I have rules to follow. I am in such a bad mood. Daniel is sick. Great. Guess whos fault it is? Mine. I was babysitting, he ended up messing with some cd cleaner crap, now hes sick. My fault of course. So I got the lecture about how when youre watching a little kid you have to watch everything that they do. Yeah, well seeing as how hes five and Ive watched him since he was like a year old, I think Id know just fine how to take care of him. Gosh, why am I so stupid? I saw him get into it, and all I did was take it off of him. I didnt even wash his hands. If hes sick, it is my fault. Completely. Why do I have all the responsibility? My dad was here. But he was just in the bedroom all night. Like usual. So its on me. I know youre feeling like your life sucks right now, and I know youre going through some stuff, but so am I ya know? Imagine how I feel for a second. On top of everything I just said, youre not happy, and its partly my fault. And everything I do to help is wrong. I cant console you or make you trust me. I dont know why. Its just never enough. Im only one person. I can only do so much. And Ive tried. I dont know what you want. All I want to do is help. Its not just rainbows and butterflies. Its compromise that moves us along.