well... a long long time ago when i was going out with people..i questioned why older guys? well it just so turns out that i know exactly why....mhmm....they're stupid.. sure this may sound like a little seventh grader speaking...but you know what? ITS TRUE ALL GUYS MY AGE ARE IMMATURE... but then again... if they were mature, what would be the point of dating someone your own age... mhmmm im dumb..and im ok with that...im immature and its going to be fine... yes.. just fine..so dont cry... dont whine... this is exactly what i should keep in mind...mhmm well im going to have a lot of time on my hands so i might as well just rant: everything that ive done has been a waste. all that i have avoided.. has finally come. i didnt join all sports that i wished to join because i didnt wish to compete. i didnt turn in essays poems to i wouldnt have to compete.... i hate competing! i hate being obligated to do activities or anything i enjoy doing! augh! it ruins the whole point of freedom! it contaminates everything!! anything! i felt obligated to paint i felt obligated to play any instrument i felt obligated to write i felt obligated to have fun... therefore not making it fun.. hmm just contradicted myself..but you know what? ...yea...thats right...its coming.... FUCK IT ill learn to play my damn instrument whenever the hell i want ill fuckin paint and enter whatever the hell i want in the damn competition ill choose to enter the damn chalk competition if i want to! ill write whenever i feel like it! and ill have fun whenever i want!~!! control- to limit or restrict the occurrence or expression of somebody or of one's self. i will not express this to anyone... well.. i will restrain myself... yes... i will not share this current mood... thats control -pao ps. technically..i did express this... hm how about i dont express this to anyone... face to face? yea? ha why not!