wait..for what? why should i. i know why.. i dont want to wait. i just want for it to go away. i wish not to handle this depression that is being brought upon me. its driving me the the brink of self destruction. i wish to end this. it was all my fault. was it?...i just wanted them to be happy.. why did it end up blowing up? why am i always the one to blame when no ones there? why must i be obligated to take it?..fuck it. i dont care. im going cold...drowning almost. no. i wont. why? because i said so thats why. i wont drown. i wont. ill just hold my breath a little longer...just a little. enough to breach the surface. for now...ill just.. ill just focus on anything and everything. and ill be happy doing so.. yes i will. nothing else matters..no nothing. just live, and you'll be fine. no need for the l. no...not now...for now im clean. im actually doing quite well in school...surprising... ha.. oh well con carino, paola