its funny how most people believe that a small loss is a big deal whats even more humorous is when people believe they lost something they never had... perhaps it was meant to never suceed although the attemps were admirable the acts were never heartfelt all was serious and cold there was no tenderness nor was there true love just two people trying to be what shouldnt be for almost a year this continued to happen ...but the funniest part was that the pain was first felt by the one who cared the least. each agonizing moment spent thinking about a solution was the death of her coldness he taught her how not to be by just reflecting how she treated others with cold glares and actions that showed no care ha the irony! well i guess im just trying to say...im doing great. ive met someone new, but there still something...someone on my mind that just wont leave. i dont believe he ever will. so ive decided to get accustomed to his face in my mind. if you ask me what i plan on doing with my life i believe i will say "im going to wing it" everyone expects something different from me. to tell you the truth i had a talk with a close friend of mine that i could relate to and he told me to do what i wished. me being such an idiot decided i was going to travel. i guess thats what i plan on doing, but before that i plan on visiting someone. that person that hasnt left my thoughts. i will visit him and clear things up. hopefully hopefully i find him. i feel terrible for the things i did to him...but at the same time i still feel deprived of many things. i feel as if he stole something from me and id like it back...but at the same time i dont.... meh ill figure myself out soon. my ex and i...well we dont talk for obvious reasons. haha it was akward before...imagine it now! ha! oh well right!? its not as if im obligated to make an effort anymore! :P yeah i know...im a turd...haha who am i speaking to?! oh well toOdles paz y amor, paola