.It's been a while I can barely remember half the things I have put in this diary, half the things I have said spoken done. .I've been slightly depressed and don't care to hide it, hiding it only hurts more then showing it to the world. .It's not so bad really, I've found a sad life in RO, where all I do is spend it there, I love the people in it I do. .Besides that my home life isn't well, my father and I never spend time together, maybe it's because I never let him, it's always the same old same old, he blames me, I ignore him he gets angry and I walk away. .The stepmom is still around, but I would much rather have a real family, not soemthing half and half of which was never mine to start with. .But it's good to hear from someone how awesoem you are, how wanted you are. It's mostly good to hear it from someone who doesn't know you well, doesn't know what you've done but knows you're you. .And thats all that matters. .Someone actually thinks I'm awesome, no one's ever said that to me, no ones ever cared to get to know me, or like me for who I am. .Or maybe they have and I haven't given them the chance?. .Either way, my older brother is doing fine, he's getting better but still slightly in the zone of hoping to get better. .Maybe after all these months I'll realize, writing here isn't so bad after all. Owari.