I'm becoming very tired of life and its drama. Finals are coming up soon- along with the projects and finals- Oh joy. I'm trying to get a few things straightened out with my life -- the whole job and love life thing. It's a slow process. Falling for the guy at the cafe' was never more complicated- notice how I put myself in the situation anyways. I'll leanr eventually. As for now- I'll focus on school: what I'm in Mass. for. ~Later gators. By the way- does anyone out there read these things?

Lets see My boyfriend move into a new apartment I got into a car accident I registered for new classes for next semester I had my car towed to Maine and some other things happened that I don't want to get into. Busy times. I get frustrated with Ronnie sometimes. He finally wants a new job and then he starts talking about looking for one for him and his brother...always the two of them...it gets to be too much bull shit for me to deal with. So I'm not hanging out with him for a bit- homework and meetings here I come. Yippie! later gators.

I don't feel good at all think I have the flu perfect timing

Everything is fine situations are the same I still love Ronnie people still dont myob liars are among me and they have no spine but classes and the lovelife are amazing

Getting very tired of doing computer programming. Julie found out that shes studying abroad- I would super excited if I were her too. I guess that also means Caroline and I will figure out who else will live with us- the single the whole 9 years. Tomorrow I'll be working for a few hours and Ronnie will be with Dave at the same time and then we'll meet up and watch a movie and just relax alone for the night. I'll work early Saturday morning and then I think we'll go out for breakfast and such..I guess we'll see. Caroline and I went to the Lyons den last night. Ok this entry sucks so I'm ending it while I can. ~Liz

Almost fell asleep during my last class -- I hate subs, they get nothing done. Today is kind of dragging on and it's only 10:45 in the morning- thats a bad hit. Having a single would be heaven right now. My room is the only place Ronnie and I have and we don't really have that either. Him and I want to get a place but since I'll be interning, studying abroad etc. it's just not practical to move somewhere. Ok I'll be 100% honest right now: Ronnie was sleeping in my bed last night, I was doing something on the computer and Caroline was studying for a mid term she had the next day (today). Caroline whispered to me "what time is he leaving cause remember I do I have a midterm tomorrow". So I then woke him up and told him he had to go if he was just to sleeping.I took her asking when he was leaving as a hint to say "I want him to leave now". Ronnie left- mad at me somewhat (cause he wasn't making any noise) then Caroline studied for a whole of 5 more minutes and didn't look at her book for the rest of the night. Pisses me off- he was sleeping- not a big deal. I feel like this sums things up with some of my friends ~Misery loves company~ Also something thats happened a few times recently that I just feel like calling it what it is- bullshit. Friends make plans about 2 weeks in advance, they talk about it about twice a day -- I don't bother inviting myself bc 1/2 the time they'll complain I hang out with Ronnie too much (newsflash- he doesn't give me crap 24/7). So then the night before for a few days before one friend will casually just be like "oh you should come". I don't need half-hearted invites from friends and I'm not going to give you an answer because that'll just make you shake your head and think - see she never hangs out anymore-No I'm just interested in hanging out with fake people. Another thing-- complaining and self-pity doesn't do anything but make me not want to be around you. I mean in general anyone who complains 100% of the time- thats fucking annoying. With that said- I'm going to go grab a bite to eat and then off to my last class before I hang out with my friend Becca!! (who is completely kick-ass by the way. Jealous people need to myob Misery needs to stop trying to get my company ~Jack I'm going to call you this weekend lovely- we need to "make things right".

After packing up a few things, dropping my virus infested computer tower to tech support, I picked up Ronnie and we left for Maine. We just sort of hung out and watched movies Friday night. Saturday afternoon Ronnie got two tattoos (his b-day gift) and then we changed at my house before meeting my parents and grandparents at the olive garden for dinner. Dinner went alright- besides my dad finding glass in his meal. Then Sunday was just spent, packing up the car, visiting my grandparents for a bit, exchanging some gifts at the mall and other stores, grabbing a coffee and then Ronnie and I were on our way back to Wheaton. We got back last night- we just relaxed and had dinner together- nothing major. We're going to hang out after he gets out of work around 3 or 4. I get to pick up my computer at 2- so hopefully it'll all be fine.

Somewhat tired I'm so glad tomorrow is Friday I get to have some alone time I get to relax a bit OH OH OH I almost forgot- I had a few kick ass meetings today about interships etc. So I'm pretty damn happy. After the meetings I was like "damn that was a pissa meeting" OK so now off to do some homework before my meeting at 3:30 and then 4:30 I get to watch a movie with Ronnie tonight which is nice..so yeah everything kicks ass right now and I'm visiting home for a few days next weekend with Ronnie ~Liz

I feel stressed but not really at the same time...I have a project to do but I no longer know what next to do so I can't really get myself bent out of shape over it, but I do hope my TA knows whats wrong with it when he helps me in a little over an hour. Today when I got a sandwich at the Loft, my baby boy put a little sweet thing for me underneath it...it was such a cute thing. Makes me take a deep sigh and remember how thankful I am to have him in my life. We've over those rough couple of days I wrote about last time. He was hurting really bad about me leaving but instead of talking about it he kept it in and was just getting angry...but since we talked about it, everything is fine. So I guess thats an example as to why communication is key to a relationship..or a healthy one at least. I dropped a class, I'll be visiting colleges next week, my projects are all in the same few days for my classes..same teacher..kinda stinks. I'm in love :-) Just felt like sharing that. Jealous people are never good company~

Well things are really great and bad right now at the exact same time- funny how that always ends up being the case. Business is what I want to do with my life and they don't have that at Wheaton. Leaving Wheaton or staying here will all be decided by 10am tomorrow. I have a 9am meeting with the dean who'll tell me if I can make my own major (whihc would allow me to stay) so that there is no way he can allow it. Ronnie has been hard to deal with recently. Would of been nice if I had him to support and help me through things...but I just can't trun to him lately... I had a hard at with classes and such..I'm very tired due to it all. I figure as long as I made it to the gym I'm fine. Tomorrow I only have one class and then 2 on Friday- so I can make it through the rest of the week just fine. If I go to a school far from Wheaton I was thinking of seeing if Ronnie wanted to come with me- so could be near each other...but I'm not so unsure right now...I can't have someone hold my heart if they walk away from me all the time...I can't deal with that all the time...About a month ago Ronnie and I fought one night and he said if we keep things up we wouldn't last another month...I couldn't believe the words he was speaking... at this very second I see what he meant- I understand. ..I agree. Not going to let myself cry over this-- get unfocused over this -- get weak over this

Well since I wrote last a few things have happened that have made me free pretty darn good. First--> My friends Caroline and I started a hurricane relief project for the people down south. The disaster is not good, but doing something about it (no matter how big or small the deed) makes me feel better. Second --> I decided what I want to do with my life- even though it seems like I must of known this all along. I want to go into management and plan things like: conventions, weddings...etc. Third--> I got all the classes I wanted for this semester which means my connections are done and I'm getting classes done for my major/minor. Fourth--> when I talked to my parents on the phone the other day they said they picked up something for Ronnie. This made me happy for known and unknown reasons. I really love Ronnie so having my parents accept him is so...amazing and great for me. I can also tell they really like him since they have never bought any of my boyfriends anything really. They want to give him the gift for his Birthday- which is in a month SO I also have to plan on what I'm doing for his Birthday. Well I would keep listing the good things that are happening to be BUT I have a bunch of homework to do and just wanted to take a study break to write a few works. Hope all is well with everyone ~Liz

I guess Ronnie and I have been having "issues" lately, but thankfully we talked last night (Thursday) and really addressed things. If things continue the way they were, we wouldn't last long and Ronnie made that clear last night. I got upset, but when do I not? I think talking about things made "it" better. So far today we've been pretty happy go lucky (as Ronnie describes it) and well I like things being the way they are. My mom wants to come down to Mass and see me Sunday because its my birthday- I'll feel bad if she does or doesn't come down so I'm not sure what the best move is with that whole situation. I've been getting more pressing towards Ronnie about quitting smoking- I can tell it's bothering him. Not only does he vocally say to "cut it out", but that I'm making him "not want to quit because" I'm pushing it so much. I don't mean to be pushy...well maybe I do, but my motive is just because I want whats best for Ronnie. I know I don't have a right to decide that...but I can't help it sometimes I know medically it's better for him and then he could save money..etc. School starts soon and I'm really excited- my new room- new classes- new life. It'll be a good time I'm sure of it. I'll make sure of it.

Lets see I haven't written for weeks, but it doesn't feel like I am so different. -I've gone to Six Flags -I'm looking for another job bc I hate the one I have now -Still not sure about tranfering...not sure what I'm supposed to do Um, I'm going to go but I'll try to write more later today and fill ya in on everything that has happened recently later gator

Here are some updates to things going on in my life: - Ron is great - I'm leaving Wheaton- if not the fall definitly for the spring- its been decided -I have a second job waitressing - not sure if I like it or not. I'm working the 4th of July which I'm not too happy about AT ALL(I work a double that day), but I'll try to smile and bare it -More stuff but I'm really tired and I want to go take a shower so I can stop in at the cafe' and say hi to Ronnie before I leave for work

Two teenagers goin over 100 mph.. Girl: Slow down. I'm scared. Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, it's too scary! Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down! Guy: Now give me a BIG hug. *Girl hugs him* Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It's bugging me. (In the paper the next day): A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die

The Keys to Your Heart You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily. What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Things between Ron and I are going well. I told him about the guy who kissed my neck-who is actually being distant now-which is good. Been getting in fights with my mom because she doesn't want me to regret things and make bad choices when it comes to Ron and if we have sex or not--shes worried I'll lose sight of my dreams and that I'll give things up because of him--She needs to relax about it because thats not going to happen. Well the entries will be short for a bit--most stuff I'm writing for myself and not for everyone to see. P.S. Work is amazing and I love being at school and not at home. Until next time <3, Liz

Went out to dinner with Ron and Dave last night. I think I was slightly worried that Dave wouldn't like me and then Ron might not see me because the two of them are so close, but I think it went fine. Dave is really cool to hang out with--Doesn't beat my baby, but he's still nice. After dinner we went to where else- Walmart: I bought the fifth season of Dawson's Creek. Then we watched Vanilla Sky in my room and called it a night. Ron bought me the cutest rose made out of feathers :-) Sweetheart... There is a guy in the room next to me who's really creeping me out. I've played pool with him before and he seems nice enough and I kind of brush off what people say about him. He's a little too friendly for my liking and he makes me feel so uncomfortable. Yesterday after Ron left he invited me over to just talk and have company. Talking was nice--I like learning about where other people come from and he's not from the states so it was interesting to here how he felt about this country. Well we ended up dancing to Spanish music-nothing major, but then he pulled me near him and kissed my neck--I freaked. I pushed him away and said I had to go and went back to my room and changed faster than I ever have before, texted Ron and told him I was getting off campus (didn't exactly say why) and left campus. This guy always words things and it makes me feel horrible--I just wish he could handle being friends instead of hitting on me. Now I'm like avoiding him which is hard since he lives right next door...just a weird situation. I didn't really want Ron and Dave to leave last night because I knew he would come around when they left...and he did and I think when I was watching the movie he knocked and then opened my door...just weirding me out and I don't like it. Not sure what I should do, if I should do anything. I mean I figure he doesn't know I have a boyfriend-which I do and I adore him so it just made me feel guilty that I was put in a situation with another guy-a situation I didn't want.It's also hard because people can't really know about Ron and I because of his job and such, but I feel like I need to say something so that guy knows to stop acting this way around me..ok I'm done... I need to go shower before work at 12:30-I feel like I should say something to Ron...but I don't know how to talk to him about some things-Still feeling him out and how he thinks-he's a toughie....grr ok I'm really going this time-- Try not to miss me too much while I'm gone. ~Liz

I left Maine for Wheaton yet again Friday afternoon. Things between my mom and me have been rocky--I guess its good that I'm out of the house for the summer. I'm getting tired of hating my dad. It's taking so much out of me that I just want things to get better so I can focus on things I need to instead of trying to be angry at my dad all the time. Ron and I seem to be doing ok. I got upset last night and I felt bad because I thought I made Ron angry at me and messed things up between him and I. I care about him so much and I want to make him happy --just like how he makes me happy. I guess thats all I have to say about that for right now--I'll leave the rest of my hand-written journal.

Well my house is a disaster with all my stuff from school and I just seem to keep adding to the piles. OH! I got a tattoo Saturday- its really cute- I'm glad I got it! I talked to Ron on the phone for a bit yesterday- it was nice. Used to seeing him everyday, even if it's just for a second when I get a coffee (or 5) at the cafe'. Well, it was nice to talk to him- miss him a bit already, but only four more days and then I'll be back at Wheaton... Who knows that the summer holds..