Well things are really great and bad right now at the exact same time- funny how that always ends up being the case. Business is what I want to do with my life and they don't have that at Wheaton. Leaving Wheaton or staying here will all be decided by 10am tomorrow. I have a 9am meeting with the dean who'll tell me if I can make my own major (whihc would allow me to stay) so that there is no way he can allow it. Ronnie has been hard to deal with recently. Would of been nice if I had him to support and help me through things...but I just can't trun to him lately... I had a hard at with classes and such..I'm very tired due to it all. I figure as long as I made it to the gym I'm fine. Tomorrow I only have one class and then 2 on Friday- so I can make it through the rest of the week just fine. If I go to a school far from Wheaton I was thinking of seeing if Ronnie wanted to come with me- so could be near each other...but I'm not so unsure right now...I can't have someone hold my heart if they walk away from me all the time...I can't deal with that all the time...About a month ago Ronnie and I fought one night and he said if we keep things up we wouldn't last another month...I couldn't believe the words he was speaking... at this very second I see what he meant- I understand. ..I agree. Not going to let myself cry over this-- get unfocused over this -- get weak over this