In case some of you don't read down that far... To the world u may be one person, but to one person u may be the world I have forgotten or at least have tried... I like them... I don't know why... Maybe because they understand me... They relate to me... I don't know... Maybe it is the smell... But they don't know... At least I don't think anyway... I may have a mental breakdown... But not before I stop hating someone I don't.. even Know... I know why I am so pissed off... Because people I would consider my friends are always concealing something. Hiding something. Well, call me hypocritical then... But you want my life story fine... Here you go... I was born in the cities I have a mom and a dad I have three sisters and a brother One of my sisters and my brother don't live with us anymore and I dont like talking about it. I have friends who don't remember who I am. I have moved to 9 different places. When I first moved here I hated it. I never wanted to come. I felt like as soon as I got some money I was going to go back. But then months past and my old friends dropped out of touch. I haven't spoken from them in over a year. I still know where the live or at least where they did live. I have had about 10 animals maybe more maybe less I honestly don't listen have the time. I like to make people laugh I have never been stoned, drunk, or taken any drugs. I have had a couple beers never enough though. I was addicted to coffee. I am addicted to pop. I am addicted to sugar. I havent been truly happy since Coahoma. I have obsessed over more than one girl. I know I have issues. I like to relate my problems to others hence the diary. I never really had anybody who understood who I am.. I dont know if anybody does I often cry myself to sleep. I try to strengthen my relationship with my god but never seem to be able to.. I can't remeber names for shit. I can't drive legally because I am too lazy But I tell everyone that I am poor. I probably arent but the most expensive thing in my house is a tv but who is counting I have many friends but not many I would consider as close. Sometimes I dont want to be here. I sometimes think about dying. I never have been able to take the first step. I am deathly afraid of being hurt. I don't like being in a relationship that makes me feel insecure. I am afraid of being outside at night. I can't walk in the woods even in a group. When I become stress out my hands turn cold and I twitch. sometimes I scare myself into believing bad things I had many bad experiences and usually I dont talk about them unless I know the people who I tell pretty well. sorry I had a moment and this is really good so I will let everyone read it and I don't care anymore... I have offically let go of everything If you don't like me because I wrote what I wrote then fine. However, I would like for people to be open with me too. If that is alright?