i can't stop thinking about him or try and concentrate on a subject infront of me. You have my undivided attention and i felt as if its always been that way. When i have something to say and cant its becasue i think its not that big of a deal to fight over bc i hate more then anything fighting over you and i know sometimes i just think crazy and ill regret it later. With you, you just dont talk to me. you simply block translation and it kills me even more. You told me yesterday was in the past and to just move on... then why are you not there for me when i need you the most. i told you this and you didnt say a word. did i do something wrong? if so let me know, so i can learn and never repeat it again. I hate more then anything upsetting you. When you come next weekend i need to see you. DO you have any idea how much i love you?? my fathers voice over the phone would normally scare me, i couldnt even concentrate on anything he was saying.. i have no clue what i did wrong. I was thinking too hard on you. "rita, stay where you are, DONT COME HOME!" my dad didnt want me home, he hated me more then anything. I didnt try asking what was going on. i was stuck. "ccchhhhaaaddd answer meeeeeee" i cried last night more then i thought my eyes could consist. It was never eending. I tried to drink,drink,and drink... that lasted a few and then there i was excluding myself from the rest. it times like this where i realize i would give everything around me for you. i have never in my life felt so strong about someone. i love you soo much. where are you now? my stomach keeps turning and i feel so nauseos. i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i love you chad i am so sorry if i upset you, those wernt my intensions