i hate writting entrys and having them get deleted ..grrr after feeling so numb for a while from all the emotions that i have been having. i decided to take a run and it felt a whole lot better.. i talked to jake and things are back to normal. hes a good guy and just wanted good intentions and ment no harm. sure the pain might still linger deep within me, but im past that. i guess all i wanted was to feel loved. and i noticed people have diffrent ways to show there affection towards one another. every wall's a door to something new/ well if thats true-then wwhy cant i get through.../it feels like im falling threw a whole in my heart.../i could walk around-fall in love with a face or two/but it wouldny be you hope is a rope to hang myself with ^NOTHING FEELS GOOD ^ im lying down with alot on my mind.. i hoping for the best. i cant do much about any of them, and im soo numb from all the pain.. i want to end it now.. i want to feel good again.. is it that hard? this is about broken hearts this is about me bending again for nothing i'd run to you but pain awaits i'm coming home but i'll be late hope things go good this weekend hear are some photos i wanted to post but never worked thats my love and i below and one more of my lover thats my new hair^ enjoy rita