I've listened to this song maybe 10 times. He says he loves me, but he doesn't understand, that I love also. But it isn't him. I so badly just want to be in one good relationship, a relationship where i'm not fucked over and homophobia isn't the issue. Exept, the technical aspect of him is that he's illegal. I don't understand why this happens.I want to be with Maria but I can't handle the next time she tries to get rid of me. She's my best friend.On the other hand, John is going to school in a couple months. I don't want to start anything with him because I am not in love with him and I am with her. Maria is the only person who has stuck around and dealt with me through thick and thin. I am afriad, anyways, to pursue anything with John, because it will be some form of revenge against Maria and that bastard. I am so hurt, and my feelings are so spastic. This stuff had better turn out. Well, if it doesn't, i'll be dead. Oops.