I always fell like I’m about 100m in front of everyone, as if I’ve grown up and don’t have the narrow tunnel vision of a teenager. I don’t think I ever did to tell you the truth, but it annoys me how I realize things way before them. I point things out, and sometimes it takes days to weeks for them to draw the same conclusion. Maybe I'm more observant or something.. I dunno.. I’m not trying to sound all full of myself; I hate that, when all they want to talk about is themselves… It’s so annoying! It’s just that since no one ever wants to hangout with me, or talk really, I have lots of time to myself and my thoughts which sucks in a way because all this writing is going to give me carpal tunnel. (Yeah it’s the writing that’s going to, not the jerking. Lol.) Plus think of all the trees I’ve killed so far.. All the thoughts drive me insane. I get home and all I fell like doing is sleeping because it’s so much easier than living through the day with all this writing and thinking and organizing. Yeah, I think I have OCD or something, I organize everything. When I think too much like yesterday, or I’m upset, I have to keep busy, usually by organizing my stuff, or writing, or cooking. - I have to redo my notes until they’re perfect, not messy or crumpled. - I eat everything in pairs or even numbers. - I write lists about everything. After writing the lists I feel overwhelmed and my heart starts to race, my head hurts and my arms twitch. I’ll be walking, whether it to school, work, home, or to class and my heart starts to race and I start to feel sick and dizzy. I try to get a grip and my stomachaches, a mix between nervous butterflies and cramps. When all this happens I feel as if I’m going to faint or something. The other day I was walking to Accounting and I had this weird pain from my lung to my heart, as if someone had stabbed my chest with a knife. I nearly dropped my books and fell to the floor it hurt so much. Also I made a weird noise, I’m sure of it, since the guy walking ahead of me turned and gave me a funny look…