Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved. ever thine ever mine ever ours

This is one of my favorite quotes from my favorite T.V show, Sex And The City. This quote is from the season finale of Season One: "And then I realized I do have faith, Faith in myself, Faith that I would one day meet someone who would be sure, That I was the one." - Carrie Bradshaw I love this quote, It reminds to to always have faith in myself, no matter what I'm going through. Also, that I won't die alone, although I sometimes feel like I will. Deep down, I know I won't, And my Mr. Right will come along. Waiting for him makes it that much more worth it♥ Well, Until later, Be Safe. I'll keep dreaming of you darling

Well. This weekend was a flop, up untill 10-15 minutes ago when my best friend made my day. Today the boy I talked about in my last entry was soposed to come down and spend the weekend with me. But I found out and hour or so ago that he couldn't get a lift to the station so he couldn't come down. So needless to say I was heartbroken. Plain White T's - So Damn Clever He said he was sorry and he felt bad and all, but it still doesn't change the fact that i was sad he wasn't comming down, or the fact that I'm pretty sure it's going to be another month before I can see him again, IF that. =( This situation totally sucks! So anyways I was telling Danielle about it and she said I should just come up to her place and spend time with her, cause really she's pretty much the only person becides the boy who can cheer me up, So we made the plans that I'll take the train up to her and she'll drive me home so we can spend more time together=) I fucking miss that girl. ♥Wifey For Lifey♥ Ashlee Simpson - Murder But anyways earlyer today my daddy took me out to do some errans and to deal with other "harassment" issues so that part was shit and I'm not happy with the out come, but my dad is right, it's for the best and I really dont have a choice. I have to protect myself..fucking dick, its your fault for this shit! BTW the pity party left the building 4weeks ago. I love my Daddy, he's the best! For fathers day I'm getting a tattoo of a bear paw on my ankle for him♥ I love that I'm close to both my parents. I'm also getting a tattoo of my mom's favorite flower on my other ankle for her♥ Plain White T's - Let Me Take You There So now I'm waiting on my ride to the station and then I'm off to spend time with my best friend=) I can't wait! She = Amazing! ILY Ms. Blunt!!!♥ Until Later, Be Safe

Alright so I has yet again been forever since I've updated. But I have decided that I need to get this out somehow and noone is around to talk to about it. So the major thing that's changed is that Alex and I are no longer together, and this is why I feel the need to talk. It's been about six weeks since we broke up and to be honest, I'm glad we did. I don't care how bad that sounds. I don't think a relationship should be bitching at your partner every other fucking day. So six weeks ago, alex got pissed at me for going to see Danielle and he said we were over. Then I act like I'm fine, cause I was, and he starts saying he made a mistake and blah blah blah i love you blah blah. But I told him I didn't want to get back together, cause I was done with fighting and being put down. Now I'm not saying that I didn't fight back or put him down. Cause you know, It's a two-way street. But I have a limit to what I can take, and I reached that limit. So I started seeing a new boy. and he's so great, he's sweet, funny, and he like my best friend! And to say the least, Alex wasn't happy about that. But I told him it was too bad cause I'm aloud to move on. So for the past six weeks he kept calling and texting me and saying all this shit about how he loves me and wants me back and how he doesn't want to live without me. Then tonight I'd had enough and I was tired of sparing my feelings for his and I layed everything out on the table and I said it'd be better if we didn't talk anymore. After we got off the phone we got off the phone he called my cell back which i didn't answer cause it wasn't near me, he left a message and said he couldn't keep his promise to me. So I told my mom and she told me to call his parents so I did, and once they talked to him about it, he texted me asking why I cared. So I didn't answer it cause I just couldn't get into round 2 with the state I was in at the time. So now my parents are all worried about me and shit that they are taking some precautions with this kind of shit. Which sucks espically cause I don't know everything they have in mind. So yea...I'm just having a fucking S-U-P-E-R night! I also had plans for tomorrow but I don't know whats going on. Noone is responding to me. I'm so fucking upset right now and the only person I've got to talk to is Adam. And Adam, is just amazing. I love that boy to death. He always knows exactly what to say to cheer me up. I owe him alot. Anyways my eyes are puffy and I'm tired so I'm off to go dream horrible nightmares no doubt. Maybe Edward is in my room protecting me and watching me fight in my dreams. [Twilight Fans Will Understand.] Untill later, Be Safe.

Wow, so it's been over a year or somthing since I've written anything, so hey why not update? Well confession time, I'm really only updating this because I know he won't read this and this is a place where I'm going to be able to finally get shit off my chest. *sigh* Okay so updates...ummm? alot really but i'll get into that later. this is my problem that has led me to the update: Is it to much too ask that I want to be wanted? Or that I want you to show that you care? Or that I would love to be treated like a queen? No, forget that I want to be treated like the way girls are in the movies. I wish life were like the movie, I know I've said it about a thousand times and I'll keep saying it because the movies have one great thing that reailtly doesn't: "Movie Magic" It's true! No matter how bad the outcome good wins, the guy gets his girl and the girl gets her "Happily ever after" Well, where's my "Happily ever after"? Just once, I'd like him to do something romantic with out me droping the hints. Like just once I'd love to hear "Hey, get ready were going out" or for him to take me to the amusment park and win me a giant prize. Or one, just once him to see me after work. Or to come see me when I'm down. Now I'm sure this sounds alot worse then it is, or maybe im just in a stae of denile whatever I don't know about anything anymore, I'm so confused about everything in my life right now. Just when I finally thought I had everything back in place, I find myslef back at the end of my rope, and sombodys kicked the chair out from underneath me. I don't even know if I should make this public or private or just make this whole Diary only for people I have on my friends list. That way he coudn't see this, but maybe I want him to see it, maybe he'll wake up and relize that I'm not going to stay if I dont feel like I'm even worth your time. But then again.... Isn't that just yet another hint?

*Sigh* Hello my emo online public, Tis been awhile but I guess I've been busy... Sort of. Well updates on my life..: Dollarama NEVER called me=( So I'm still pathetic and jobless, which is crap-tastic [as usual] Nickelback & Three Days Grace, was a hella kick ass concert. I had a ton of fun with Alex, he was amazing. I bought him a t-shirt for out 3 months =) He likes it =) Panic! At The Disco was absolutly amazing It was the best concert I've ever been too, and that mean it toped Warped Tour & My Chemical Romance! It truely amazing, thye put on a superb show! With props, actors and actresses! It was just amazing, and to make it all more better I was with Alex[♥] ANDDDDD, he even bought me a concert shirt=) It was just great. Earlyer that day he even came to my faimly party with me. It was great, the family even seemed to like him=) Umm so that was Friday, Saturday and....... um, Sunday: Nothing really spent the day with Alex [asusual] *lol* nothing really happened this week, I guess. Yesterday, was mine and Alex's 3 months and it was soo much fun just being with him=)[♥] Today, I was up at 5:30am and was at Alex's house at freakin' 7:15-7:30 this morning, just so I could spend all day with him before I had to go babysit and he had to go to his job test thingy. So I spent the day with him and when I left I missed him right away...yah I know, I'm a losar. *lol* So I got to my aunts to babysit, visited with my fam until they all left, watched movie with Lisa, had pizza and all that jazz, sat around, then Alex called me and told me that he got his job! I'm soo happy for him even tho this means I'm going to being seeing alot less of him =( which sucks ass =( Anyways, now I'm sitting here, bored of my ass watching T.v and updating this and I'm about to go to check on the little one. As for tomorrow, it's more resume handing out because I need a damn job!!! Shit. Kids are bored, I gotta go, I'll update tomorrow if I can. So For Now...............♥ Stay Chemical!♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s.: I Love You Alex ♥

Well, It's been like over a week, I'm bored, so I figured, hey why not, lets update. Well, let me just get something out there. Does "God" or whomever controls fate, hate me? Or do they just like to watch me sqirm? This like past month or 2, I've seem to have nothing but bad luck. The only thing that isn't fucked up, is Me & Alex [♥], And my friends [that I have left.] I really mean this, I used to have alot or friends, and I like really trusted them. I told them everything. AFI - Miss Murder And the thanks I got was being called a "fake" or whatever. Sorry I decided to be my own person. Guess they didn't want a friend, they just wanted a sheep. Now I'm down to the friends that have remaind true, through and through. And for that I say this to you guys, I love you. Thank-you for being here for me when I needed you. It's nice to see people actually like me for who I am and what I stand for. "I Am What I Am. I Change For Noone." Three Days Grace - Gone Forever The past 2 days [July 12 & 13] have been one of the worst days I've had in a long time, The 12th started out great, I spent the whole day with Alex, then when mum picked me up, it all went down hill. My sister and I got into a huge fight and I got to the point where I almost said fuck this and left the house and I wasn't coming back, at least not for that night. She completely went off on me, saying shit like "You're a failure" "A total fuck-up" "Grow the fuck up" Panic! At The Disco - There's a Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought of It Yet So after that little "tiff" we didn't speak. Then later when I was on my way to bed, I noticed that she went into my room and took something from me. I said thanks for going in my room and then she almost broke my mirrior and all this and went off and started saything the same shit. "Grow up! maybe then you can stop being such a fuck up." At the time of this fight, I was on the phone with Alex, and after I had to get out of the house. So I sat on my deck and cried. It was great, Crying on my deck with my cell in one hand all alone, except my amazing, Dixi Chicks - Not Ready To Make Nice and I mean amazing boyfriend was talking to me, making me feel better, just cheering me up and stuff, He's the greatest. He knew exactly what to say to make me feel better. The next day, I woke up to my mom saying that a possible job was on the phone and here I thought "Finally, some good new comes my way." So it was Dollarama, and she asked if I could come in for an interview at 9:00am [this was 7:00am] so I said yes and so I got ready. Mum dropped me off and I went to the interview, Daniel Powter - You Had a Bad Day And it seemed to be going great and she ever said that I'd definatily be getting a call within the next few hours with her answer. So I left in the best mood, I even went out with mum to get my SIN number. If you didn't know you need a birth certificate, and I went there thinking that mine was in my wallet like it's always been, so I get up to the desk, my form is filled out and everything, and the guy asks for my birth certificate. So I go into my wallet, and was it in there? OF CORSE NOT!!!! So I end up looking like an ass, going back home to get it, only to find it like within 5 mins of walking through the door, only to go right back out to do it again. So I got their, gave them everything, waited to be taken into the back room when the person fills out all your info. The only good part about it was a)I now offically exist to the government, and b) the guy that helped me was a metal head [kinda cute] and his last name was SKELTON!!!! AFI - Prelude 12/21 So that made my day. So I went shopping, and I was tired as all hell, and I still am. AFI - Miss Murder Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp Nowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Can you tell I'm tired? lol. Well today I'm going to see Nickelback & Three Days Grace!!!!!! I'm soo happy about it too. The best part is I'm going with Alex [♥] ANDDDDD Tomorrow I'm going to see PANIC! AT THE DISCO!!!!!!!!!! I'm sooooo happy about it eeeeeeeee [excited!!!!!] Also seeing that with Alex (= Well, I'm extreamly tired so that's it for me and now I'm off to bed. Good night everybody(= So for now............ Stay Chremical!♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut♥~*~ P.s.: I Love You Alex♥

Mmmmkay. So I'm sitting here in my mum's grade 1 class and it's the finnal day, and let me just say this now. I have a new found respect for my mum, like god damn, these little bastards are driving me nuts! Go mum go! *lol* Anyways, so I got my hair cut and I'll try to post a pic when I take a pic of it. But I'm pissed because my hair dresser fucked my hair up! she made it a ton shorter and it doesn't look a thing like the picture. Needless to say I was not pleased. So when it grows out, I'll be taking the same picture to a different hair dresser. The only reason that I'm not hiding in a dark hole, is because Alex loves it, everyone who's seen it, loves it, I'm glad Alex liked it, He's really the only person who I really hoped liked it *lol* Moving on kiddies. Sooo tonight I think I'm gonig over to Alex's house, but I don't know. Finnally the kids are gone! So there is a few movies that I want to see in theaters, they would be: Click, The Lake House, The Devil Wears Prada, and a few others. Also I really want to rent Rent[Again], The Hills Have Eyes, Hostel & Failure To Launch. I've all readdy seen Rent & Failure To Launch, but I wouildn't mind seeing them again. Oh ya, Linds also came over on tuesday and spent the night, we took the bus up to Blockbuster and the dollar store, and we got helieum ballons that were sweet and BATMAN BALLONS!!! it was fun sucking on helieum (: oh and we bought SEX Glasses!. We rented The Wedding Crashers and it twas funny as all hell "DEATH IS MY BITCH LOVER!" *lol* Linds(: So ya I had a blast! But anyways, I have to go, mum wants to get the hell outta her *lol*! So For Now............. Stay Chemical!♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut♥~*~ P.s.: I Love You Alex♥

Been awhile eh? oh well, it's not like anyone read this... Does anyone? Let's move on. Soooo, Updates???... Well school is over, thank the lord. The "goth babbies" still hate my life and "soposidly" one of them wants to fight me, fuck that noise. Umm Alex and I are great [♥]. Oh! I offically got my, Sarah McLachlan - Angel Panic! At The Disco concert tickets and Alex also bought the Nickleback & Three Days Grace tickets which rocks(: I'm really excited:D Umm well today I was soposed to go to my mum's school to help with her class trip, but due to the rain it was cancled...It sucks I was kinda excited *lol* oh well, Shit happens *lol*. So tonight or tomorrow night [If mum says okay,] Linds will be coming over and staying the night :D I'm soo looking forward to that, I miss that girl, she's like my best friend(: And if she comes over then she'll be coming with me to my hair oppointment:D I'm getting it cut and dyed and all that jazz!! *excited!* Sean Paul - Temperature So I have a picture of how I want my hair and I'll post it on here, I don't know if it will look good or anything... If you guys have an opinion PLEASE COMMENT!!!!! this is very important *lol* Heres the picture of the hair followed by a pic of me: Will it look good on me? So it shows the hair all black but i think ill have like parts of it blonde but I donno lemmie know what you think please! :D Pink - Cuz I Can Well I think that's it for me please comment *lol* So For Now........ Stay Chemical!♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s: I Love You Alex♥

"Shhh, let's hurry up before Heather comes in." Perfect. Just bloody perfect. That little statment at the top is what my soposed friends said about me today while I was in the bathromo stall and they hadn't seen me yet. I just fucking love how they say shit about me behind my fucking back, If you don't fucking like me then fucking tell me. Don't drag on with this fucking bullshit. But you know what, It's fine, I've lost my will to give a fuck. I don't care what they do anymore, I have friends that fucking accept me for who I am, And what I've become. The question I'm trying to figure out is, what have I become? What have I done to them that was so fucking terible!? Whatever. I don't care anymore. I've lost my will to care about shit anymore No more drama for heather. That's it.

Mmmmkay... So I pretty much offically hate my gender. Their is only like 5 females in my life that I don't want to see die a very tradgic death. I just don't understand why some girls have to have every little fucking thing revolve around them. It's fucking pathetic, like fuck, get over your self. That sound hateful, as it was ment to be. And if who ever this is directed to figures it out that its ment towards them, good, go fuck your self, THE WORLD DOESN'T REVLOVE AROUND YOU AND IF YOU DIED THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD WOULDN'T NOTICE! Nickelback - Far Away Kay, now that I got that out of my system, let's move on kiddies(: So my weekend was pretty fucked, Friday: Got to hang out with my baby so it was sweet as all hell♥ Saturday: Family party, boring as all hell and I almost killed my cousin!, then after I went to the movies with Danielle and Jamie and we seen The Omen...IT FUCKING SUCKED I WAS NOT PLEASED!!!!)=October Fall - Second Chances Well, Tomorrow is school again, not really happy about that but meh what am I gunna do? I have to present the game that I made up and I'm kinda nervous...I hate public speaking... ANYWAYS I have 2 concerts coming up, the frist one is like a week away, which would be Theory Of A Deadman and then second one is Nickelback, 3 Days Grace & The Road Hammers....Kinda excited about both, gotta get the TOAD tix like tomorrow! *lol* Panic! At The Disco - The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage So right now I'm making a layour for my baby's myspace so I'm going to go focus on that. So For Now........ Stay Chemical!♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s: I Love You Alex♥

BAH!!!!! HAPPY 6-6-6 EVERYONE!!!!!! HOPE YOU HAD A "KILLER" [Pardon The Pun.] DAY! I was plaing on seeing the Omen but my gay ass theater SAID it was playing when I looked up the times on www.tribute.ca but when I got to the theater with my baby was it playing? NO! >=( grrr it sucked. Sitd took FOREVER to fix so I don't exactly know what to write, I'm acually done now I just wanted to wish everyone a happy 6-6-6 well that's it for me LOVES YOU ALL!!! *Lol* So For Now........ Stay Chemical!♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s:I Love You Alex ♥

Cha! ♥ I don't actually know why I'm in such a good mood but I am, and honestly, I'm not really complaining=) tee hee! Well, updates on my very eventfull weekend [or not *lol*] FRIDAY[After School]/ MAY 19: Went over to Alex's house after I went home and got ready, we didn't end up renting movies due to reasons beyond are control so we had the t.v, but I don't really remember watching much of it ;) *lol* Massari feat. Belly - Rush The Floor SATURDAY/ MAY 20: Finished my dress, it was completly FUCKED and I was sooo pissed that it ended up looking like complete shit! So I went over to my mom's mothers house for a family party. The party was pretty fun, My cousins are funny, My family actually isn't that bad, I guess since I've moved away from the "gothic" movement, people [a.k.a. my family] don't irriate me, Werid huh? meh, Didn't get to see Alex but I got to talk to him=) so anyways, let's move on kiddies, Angels & Airwaves - It Hurts SUNDAY/ MAY 21: Seeing as I fucked up my dress me & my grandma made a deal that if it got screwed up, then she would buy me a new one, so on Sunday, me, Mom & Grandma went out dress shopping, Angels & Airwaves - The Adventure after going to 8 or 9 stores and not having ANY luck, an employee at a store told us that one of her co-workers went to a little shop on the outskirts/ boarderline of Whitby and Ajax called "Around The World." so we went to the store, and it was sooo cool! there were sooo many beautiful dresses, and after trying on 2 really pretty dresses, I found it, my perfect dress, I know it sounds cliche, but it really is beautiful!♥, But the cost, not so beautiful=p. The original price was $550.00 but my mother and grandma ended up talking with the really nice guy and got the priced knocked down too $300.00 Still pricey, but man is it beautiful! I plan on posting the prom pix as soon as I get them =) [3 days away=D!] After dress shopping, October Fall - I'll Find You Again I had to clean the house so I didn't get to see Alex yet again=( and by this time I was really missing my baby! Chorse took me untill like 8:30-9:00 so I didn't have time to see Alex and I was pretty much sore as all hell *lol* so he called me, we talked about made plans for the next day=) Moving on! MONDAY/ MAY 22: Go up at 9, got ready[which took me forever], waited for mom to get ready then got to Alex's house at noon. Hung out in his room, not going into details [sorry kids guess you'll have to get your fixes some where else=p], October Fall - Favorite Mistake Umm ya, ended up not going home till 9:30pm. it was sweet, I love spending time with my baby, just because I love my baby that much=) ya I know, I'm corny so what!? [Wanna go bitches? BRING IT!!!!]LOVE that man!♥♥♥ Sooo for today's events, today was pretty uneventfull, but meh so what=p GYM: Played dodge ball, twas fun but I got kinda sweaty b/c I was getting into the game, and that's, October Fall - Caught In The Rain just not pretty *lol* MATH: Got ready for the "Unit 8" final test, some of it was kinda hard but I'm pretty sure that I did good on it=) LUNCH: Hung out with Miller and Mikey for like 10-20 mins, then he left for his bus and Miller & I went inside an walked around, Sang to the songs that played on my MP3 player, went out so she could smoke, talked to the teachers, she showed me her test, walked around some more, bell rung, we went to my locker and then went to class, it was thrilling=) HOME DESIGN: Ummm, we talked about the trip we have tomorrow, did some work, talked to the girlies sitting at mine & Linds's table [Alex, Amanda & Britnee] It was fun=), October Fall - Second Chances That class was really sweet today *Lol* ENGLISH: Knox wasn't here today so we had a suply and we watched Macbeth, I wrote in my notebook, thought about some shit that had pissed me off earlyer>=( then the class was over *lol* AFTER SCHOOL: Met up with Alex right after class, he went to my locker with me and walked me home =) He stayed till 3:30 then he went to his house, which sucked but I had shit to do so we couldn't hang out, Wezzer - Keep Fishing After Alex left, family ate dinner and then got ready for Ginny's base ball game. The game was boring and I was freezeing my ass off an to top it all off I was missing Alex like mad! I'm soo obsesed *Lol* Well tomorrow my home design class is going to Toronto, which is good because me and Miller are going show shopping with Linds and Miss Pro=) yay for shoes, Thursday I'm back at school and Friday I'm not at school because I'm off all day to get ready for prom =) long week for me eh? *lol* Well i'm kinda bored and I'm gunna go call alex So For Now........ Stay Chemical!♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s: I Love You Alex♥

Yay for remembering to update! So I’m sitting here in my math class and I’m supposed to be doing an assignment on “ebay” or some shit like that but I don’t feel like doing it so I’ll update first and then ATTEMPT to get it done, but don’t get to excited their kids, I said that I’d attempt to do my work, baby steps to change into a good student *lol* Alkaline Trio – Sadie Well last night I was on my way to Alex’s house and then he called me and told me to go to the 5-Points mall because that’s where he was, he was hanging out with Mike, little Alex, and gay Alex Ashlee Simpson – L.O.V.E So we spent pretty much all night with them, and I was pretty tired of them walking away without telling me and my Alex and he felt the same way, so we took the bus home and he came to my house and waited for his bus, I was so happy to Finally be away from them, I love little Alex & Mikey to death but , I was tired of watching little Alex run off with gay Alex and leave Mikey, and besides I just wanted to be alone with my Alex♥ Black Eyed Peas – Pump It Anyways onward with today, Today is mine and Alex’s one month♥ Blink 182 – First Date Tonight after school, I’m going to go home and get ready, then I’m going over to Alex’s house and were gunna watch a couple movies…sounds lame but I’m excited. =) Anyways, I thought I should write this seeing as it really pisses me off, I come to school today, Kaitlyn, Katie, Noelle & Matt were there and they all said hi and shit, everything seemed good, Blink 182 – Always and then the bell rings, Marina doesn’t show, and Kaitlyn, my soposed friend, skips math, leaves me all alone in class just so she can go sit in the fucking caff with Katie and talk about shit….Nice “friends” eh? No I thought not. Moving On! One more thing, God damn they piss me off, just because I don’t believe in Satan, I don’t wear black, and I think people who cut them selves to “welcome Satan into their bodies” are really fucking stupid, they completely cut me off, which is really fucking retarded, some real fucking friends I had eh? Blink 182 – I Miss You Ok enough ranting & raving… it’s pissing me off way to much and it just isn’t worth it anymore because I really just don’t give a fuck anymore =) “Where are you and I'm so sorry I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight I need somebody and always”[Blink 182 – I Miss You] Sorry I love this song=) *lol*…. Anyways, class is half over so I should attempt to get my assignment done. >.So For Now…. Stay Chemical♥ Razor Blades & Pocket Knives –Emo Slut♥ Ps: I Love You Alex ♥

Wow, I absolustly rock at updating don't I? No, I thought not=), Let's move on kids Well I don't really remember much [anything really] that has happend since last time I updated...I have to work on that[the whole updating, and actually remembering what I've done thing=p o.O] So I just give a majour highlight, last Saturday was zee concert and I have to say one thing, Oh-My-God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Angels And Airwaves - The War So their was 4 bands and in order as to how the play they were: October Fall From First To Last The All-American Rejects & Fall Out Boy! October Fall was fucking amazing! From First To Last was pretty suckish I was pretty pissed. The All-American Rejects weren't that bad, a couple of the songs the did were shit but it was mostly the sound guys fault...stupid ass hole sat on his ass and fucked everything up>=( Fall Out Boy was fucknig amazing!!!!!!! they made my night! It was so much fun, Danielle seemed to have fun to=)....Got pictures and recordings of the concert *lol* So all-in-all a good show So we got home and were starving so we went and got pizza at 1 am=) and we passed out at 3am...good times. So that waws a majour highlight, another kick ass thing is that I've been spending pretty much everyday with Alex, I'm actually about to go over to his place now=) Angels and Airwaves - Take The Stairs Theses songs are pissing me off because they are DEFINATILY FAKE>=( Angels and Airwaves - It Hurts finally a REAL A&A song! soo ne ways I have to go so I'll try to update when I get home or tomorrow=) *lol* So for now... Stay Chemical♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s: I Love You Alex.♥

♥. Well, I offically suck at the whole updating thing, but I'm going to work on that ;) *lol* So if you can't tell, I'm in the best mood ever. on Friday, I was soposed to go to see Alex, but my mom kept fucking with me sayin I could go one second then the next, I wasn't aloud...it was pissing me off and I was pissed I didn't get to see him=( So we made plans for today, we were going to the Flea Market with his mom and himself=) Today ways amazing I was up at 6, got ready, made coffee, ate, and then Alex called, Hedley - 321 and said he they were on his way and that Scott and Jess were coming to... I was scared shitless, so they came, we drove to the place, then me and Alex left them and we went off on our own...I've never had so much fun at a Flea Market, seeing as I've never been to one*lol* So we went up and down rows of shit, seen a hat store that Alex pretty much died over *lol*...umm ya, it was just so much fun, ran into Jason from the old platinum which was cool seeing as he still rememberd me...werid=P... So after it all, Alex bought a pinstripe shirt & Boston baseball cap, Fort Minor - Remember The Name and then he said that at the end of the summer he's going to come back to the ghetto side, I'm gunna be dating a 'gangstaa'....I will admit though, his hat and shirt look really fucking sexy on him♥ *lol* After the market we all went back to his house, [omg his family is so nice=) *lol*] and me & Alex chylled in his room for awhile, watched the Robin Williams Live On Brodway, then went downstaris and watched Batman=D. Then we helped with grociers and shit, it was soo much fun, I've never spent all day with a guy before, Hedley - Trip Gah I love him soo much!!!!!!!!♥ so to sum it all up today was the best! I haven't been this happy in a long time it's really nice♥♥ So tomorrow Alex goes to his potential new job, so I most likely won't be getting to see him but I think I can mannage, I hope *lol*... Well, I'm tired to the fucking max so i'm going to bed=p. 6 Days till the Fall Out Boy Concert♥ So for now... Stay Chemical♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s: I Love You Alex.♥

This will be fast seeing as I'm soposed to be getting ready for school=p. Soo updates since Friday....School was cruddy, I don't remember much of it. Saturday: Hung out with my grampa and then with my dad, then Alex called at I went to his house, met his parents, and had an absolutly amazing night with him♥ Sunday: Was soposed to go shoe shopping but I went with my sister to the Toronto comiccon and we ran outta time to shoe shop, but I did get a really sa-weet new hat=) Monday: Pretty boring, got stuck in Lacross for gym [screwed] umm got my math test back and got 91% on it, started Macbeth in english, talked to Linds in home studies. Yesterday: Math was fun, were priceing out our "dream car" and shit. Had an ISU in gym so Me, Marina, Kaitlyn & Noelle all went to taco bell for toonie tuesday, twas fun=)....English was boring, we watched a movie and I was drawing werid stuff=) *Lol*. Had an ISU in home studies so I was on my way to the coffee house with Linds[to see Randy, Cavell, Andrew & John] and I seen Alex[♥] So he came with us=), Coffe shop was fun=), then after the coffee shop we all went back to school, then I went and got my shit from my locker with Alex and we walked outta the school & seen Linds, Meaghan & Nikki, walked home with Alex, Meaghan & Linds then Alex came over to my house and stayed untill 9:30 *lol* it was soo much fun...after he left I had the biggest grin on my face b/c I was so happy I got to see him♥♥ Well, I don't know what going on today so I'll TRY to update tonight...hopefully I'll actually get the chance to *lol* 9 Days till the Fall Out Boy Concert♥ So for now... Stay Chemical♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s: I Love You.

Stupid Sitdiary wouldn't let me update yesterday>=( So I'm going to say what I did yesterday first=) *lol* 15 Days Till Fall Out Boy=)[Yesterday's Count Down] Well I got up, fell right back asleep, woke up in a panic, did my hair and make-up, got dressed and was out the door. Got to school ontime as usual...Talked to zee "family" and then the bell rang so we went to our classes... Gym: we had a suply, mr. Conaway[or whatever], and he a fun teacher so I didn't mind, so we had a small gym class so we got 4 team captians and they picked 2 people, Marina was a captian and she, Relient K - Let It All Out was aloud to pick to people at a time so she picked Me & Kaitlyn=) we all found it really funny seeing as we all sucked. Go Team Black! so 2 other teams played first and while sitting out, Danielle & Shawna came to the gym door and we talked until it was time for "Team Black" to play...It was fun=) We were talking about this years prom [Alex asked me to go and of corse I wanted to go=) he doesn't think I'll have any fun so I donno if im going, I want to but I donno *lol* it's complicated=P] so ya we talked about that and when I told Shawna that he asked me to go, she had a grin on her face and she was like "awwwwww" *lol* it made me smile I'm glad that SOME of my FRIENDS don't, Pussycat Dolls Feat. Will.i.am - Beep hate him=) *lol* ne ways so after they left, we played, sucked and then the teach switched the teams...and of corse No one on my team passed me the ball, so I changed *Lol* NEXT CLASS Math: Unit test, it was pretty easy but some shit really confused me and I'll be surpirsed if I get a realy high mark...Better luck next time=) *High Hopes* After the test we sat there and talked. Lunch: BORING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was soo fucking bored, NO ONE was talking, and people were being bitchy *eye rolls* Home Studies: No Linds AGAIN but she'll be in class to day=), Relient K - Be My Escape Didn't really do anything, finally started my house and shit, it looks like crap but whatever i'll work on it today *lol* Matt put on his Misfits cd on my player for a bit and I couldn't get into...THEY ARE UGLY!!!!!! So after ms. Pro helped me with my house I went for my co-op interview and It went really well, me and Degray were laughing =) Shes like one of my favorite teachers=p After I came back worked on my house then class was over. English: soo ponitless to go, there was a grand total of 4 people in the class and that includes me and the teacher! On the plus side I got a really good nap in=) so with like 5 mins to the bell my teacher says "I think I just heard the bell ring, didn't you?" so we left *lol* After that I got my shit and went home =)....I took a nap when I got home and then Linds came over and we had sooo much, Fall Out Boy - Of All The Gin Joints In All The World fun=D "PROTECT MY SHOES!!!!" *Lol* the creek was soo much fun=) After that my mom drove her home and then we went gorcery shopping for dinner and I made home-made Pizza and it kicked ass! Go me=D....After that I had a shower and Alex called so I talked to him for like 2 hours=) Omg I love him[♥] I was soooo happy when I went to sleep gah! I love talking to him! From First To Last - Emily So that was my day, I stayed home sick this morn and yes, I was actually sick=p. Anyways I have to get my ass to school so I'll update on todays events later today=) *Lol* 14 Days till the Fall Out Boy Concert♥ So for now... Stay Chemical♥ ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s: I Love You.

Sigh. Sigh. Fuck I fucking hate stupid cunt life. Today was werid, I don't exactly know how to explain it.... I got up, fell asleep, straightened my hair, did my make-up, Got dressed & ate breakfast. Teddy Geiger - For You I Will So I got to school, on time and Noelle asked me if I was doing gym an when I said I was and asked why she wanted to know she told me Marina & Kaitlyn weren't doing it today so I said "fuck that then" and sat out with them=)....So I finally got up the balls to tell Kaitlyn that Alex & I were back together...and she took it about as well as I suspected she would have. "Guys, I have some news and I know you won't really be happy about it but I don't really care. Alex and I are back together, we've been back together for about a week." Kaitlyn groned and Marina asked if he was actually gunna act like a boyfriend and I told her he all ready was. But whatever, Relient K - Let It All Out That's finally outta the way...I kinda came to relize that I don't care if they aprove or not anymore. If they don't, then they dont and they dont care that I'm happy. and if they do then that's great, less stress for me. Oh well I'm happy and I really do love him♥. Gym was boring, We sat out and I kept score, Then Billy put on the old From first To Last cd and I was really getting into it then this loser fggt kid took the cd off and put on fggt ho-down music, followed by stoner music then some crazy music.....gay. So in math I got help form my teacher so I'm not so lost but I'm still pretty confused, the unit test thing is tomorrow and I think I should be ok. *fingers crossed* "reach out to me make my heart brand new every beat will be for you for you"[Relient K - Let It All Out] Lunch was average, their was more talking then yesterday, but it felt, like, akward...I donno, good news, the annoying chick wasn't their today=), Also Matt was hella high and we all made fun of him and put him in the Imagnary box and left him in it and he was sooo tripping out, we left the box on him and just opened a window on it, he was freaking! It was a good thing he showed up because we all kinda cheered up *Lol* Relient K - Be My Escape After lunch was home studies, Matt still thought he had the box on him so I kept tripping him out=). No Linds again so I had no one to talk to about shit, Matt was usless b/c he was so wasted. But me and Britnee talked about shit which was fun, like old times=), So miss Pro finally told me what I was doing and she helped me with what I was doing and shes going to help me more on it tomorrow before my Co-op interview and when I get back from my interview.=) So after class I was on my way back to my locker, I wasn't really in a happy mood, So I looked really down, I got to see Alex[♥], Relient K - I So Hate Consequences But because of my down-ness I only said Hi to him in a depressing mood, I felt like a bitch for doing it so after I was in more of a down mood. Good going Heather... =(sigh.=( Anyways got to my locker, talked to the "family" then went to class. English, first class back from New York, figures the one day that I come back, we have the big 100 mark Flowers For Algernon test. oh well the test was pretty easy and I ended up getting 85 out of 100 which is, yep you guesssed it 85%, Go me=) After we did the test and marked it, we didn't do anything else for the calss...Tomorrow we start Macbeth Yay for all ready reading it.. Fort Minor - Where'd You Go After class, I went back to my locker, got my shit, waited for Matt to get his shit, said bye to the "family" and we walked home, On my way out I seen Chelsey and she yelled "HI HEATHER" and I walked past her and said "Chelsey!," her-"What?" me-"Your hot!" her-"So are you!" then we did are "moves" and me & Mattie left. Walking home was fun Mattie made me laugh and we talked about the old times at Harmony....It was a trippy ride down memory lane...Did cheer me up tho.=) Anyways, I got home, let my dog out, went to the bathroom to check my make-up because it always comes off during school, then I got a drink and went to talk to my dad. Relient K - Who I Am Hates Who I've Been So I told my dad about my test and he said he was really proud of me=) Then the good news just kept coming...NOT! So my father told me the best news *sarcasim* and guess what kids, My Father Is Dying. Ya that's right='( He told me that his Blood Pressure is all fucked up, His Liver is failing, and His Heart is failing and so I asked him what that ment and he didn't really give me an answer, He just told me, "Don't pick out a christmas gift for me just yet." which, [for the retards], means he doesn't think he's going to live long enough to get to Christmas... So needless to say I went into shock, Rosette - Crushed And when I got away for my dad, I went up to my room and bawled my fucking eyes out...Super day for me right? ya anyone who says yes to that is a heartless bastard and I hope you burn in "hell." So after I spent like 2hrs alone from everyone, blasting my music, I went on msn to check my email, and when I signed on and changed to my name to "My Dads Really Sick:'(", Alex poped up and asked me what was wrong with him and I told him everything, he was so concering it was amazing I told him that I was gunna go lay down and that I loved him and he said he loved me to and if I needed anything I was to call him, Thrice - Music Box And then he said I should try to get some rest then said he loved me again, and I went away. He's the best, I love him♥. So tonight I plan on doing nothing, possibily some home work but I donno. I'll see how I feel. But speaking of how I feel, I think I'm gunna go lay down. 16 Days till the Fall Out Boy Concert♥ So for now... Stay Chemical! ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s: I Love You.

Sigh. Well today was completly crappy....=( No, actually today was ok, tonight was completly crappy. Me & my sister are fighting and it's retarded. I just wasn't in a very happy mood, sort of. Oh well she really was being a bitch...but whatever. I woke up this morning, had a shower, was farrrr to lazy/tired to blow dry/straighten my hair so I let it "air dry" and put it back in pigtails....Meh. So I got to school, not really anyone was there yet, just Noelle. Then Katie, Marina & Chelsey showed up soon followed by Mattie. So I said hi to them and I kinda cheered up. Katie & I were making fun of her "stalker", Rosette - Crushed Which was really fun because he kept walking past us and staring at her....C|R|E|E|P|E|R....What can I say, the kid is fucking weird. Oh well. So anyways, first class of the day was Gym. Which I really didn't want to do. So we played Basketball, and I really hate basketball so need I say more? Kaitlyn ended up showing up late, changed and got to play one 5 minute game then we had to change again, I laughed at her *lol* Then it twas second period which is, yep you guessed it, Math. Today was review for the test on Friday, and as usual I didn't get ANY of the review questions. Nelly feat. Tim McGraw - Over And Over Again So I was pretty much a lost cause, so I spent my time day dreaming and drawing new outfit designs for Ransom[Yay, the site is coming up soon=)] After class twas lunch, I was bored as fuck, not really in a super mood so I just sat to the side of Marina and we both said nothing really to anyone and we both listened to our music. I didn't really feel like hanging out with the "family" at lunch today espically because of the new kid that always sits with us....Bleh. Eminem - When I'm Gone Then followed Home Studies, we had a suply, Matt and I were debating weather or not to go, we didn't want to but we didn't wanna get in shit, so we went, sadly. The suply was anoying as fuck and Linds wasn't there so I had no one to talk to about my personal shit....Matt was there but he's a guy so some shit he wouldn't understand...So the "teacher" would not fuck off and I really wanted to hit her, I wasn't there yesterday so I didn't know what the fuck we were doing so I did other work. I couldn't focus because I wasn't feeling good, again.=( Eminem - Mockingbird After Home Studies was soposed to be english, but I felt like major shit so I just went home. My ISU is still due and I have no printer so I'm going to beg mr. Knox tomorrow and ask[beg] if I can hand it in on Thursday or Friday, I've finished the reading and most of the actual ISU but its still not done and I need to finish it and get it printed off. Hopefully he'll understand *fingers crossed* So I went to my locker after class, and I told Katie that I was going home so her & I talked for a bit[untill the bell rung], And I got to see Alex today, he kicked me in the ass[I think] Oh well I got to see him so that made me happy=)♥ I kinda wish he gave me a kiss or at least a hug, but I'm just corny like that♥ also talked to Mattie, then they both went to class and I went home. So when I came home, I talked to Gin, ate some food, Took 3 advils, went for a walk, went off and on msn for a bit, passed out & woke up at 6pm. It was fun...I guess. So when I woke up I talked to mom about why I came home, she wasn't mad and I'm finally feeling alot better [thank "god"] so I'm actually going to be at school for a full day tomorrow *lol*. Hopefully I'll be in a more happier mood tomorrow. John Lenon - Imagine Tonight was uneventfull didn't do anything except my ISU seeing as I wasn't aloud out... I just burnt me a CD and I'm gunna go upstaris, clean my room, UN-pack my shit from New York and then most likely go to bed. Sounds hella fun don't it? No, I thought not. Well I don't really have anything else to write so I guess I'm done here... 17 Days till the Fall Out Boy Concert!♥ So for now... Stay Chemical! ~*~Razor Blades & Pocket Knives-Emo Slut~*~ P.s: I Love You.