Dude, i made it to 100, i kick ass man. dude, yesterday was friggin hell! I sat at home all day and had nothing to do. i kept asking my brother if he wanted to go outside, but nooooooo he didn't, friggin hell. O well..... I need a life, or atleast a boyfriend. anyone open? ok disregard that last little bit there. I think i am going crazy. at the strangest moments this feeling of living alone for rest of my life comes over me. And that scares me. I am sure some people know what i mean damn i got to stop being so emo. I never really used to care, but now for some reason i do. I turned 16 and i have never had a boyfriend, now thats sad! O well, screw all of you happy-in-love people. Really, i hate all of you x_x not really, but seeing people happy just makes me upset more. i am like a little rich bastard that wants everything and can't get what she wants. I want a relationship, and it is the last thing i can get. I could probably get a degree in math before i could get anyone to hold me. yeah...and i hate math. screw all you happy people in the world, its my time to be selfish and upset. comment all of you lonely people. I don't want to hear anything about how i will find someone soon. soon as in when? I have waited 16 years, isn't that enough? ahh fuck....emo entry again..... but really, this is how i feel. Alone, cold, and in need of a hug. and no one to give me one. no one really ever comments on my emo entries. i would like some, but no cliche crap thats going to make me feel worse. [xeditx] Well thomas and adam are over now. I am friggin bored. I think later i am going to go bug them downstairs. I can hear them. I dunno who is playing but whatever. bahhh boredom, i need a life. or somemore friends. I am starting to feel like the random sister that tags along with everyone. you know almost a 5th wheel type thing. o well, i am good for somthing i know it....just haven't figured out what that somthing is. o well i have nothing to do here so i am going to go bug them. I would talk to andrew, but he is a bum and never really talks back, so i end up saying i hate him. o well. comment all of you!

Im not really sure what to think about, and Im so confused about everything. Sometimes I feel like I havent got enough strength to live this life. I feel like people would look at me like I am an emo little brat, but I really dont know right now. Everything is so confusing and over welming. Things are just coming at me too fast from every way. It really feels like I can't do anything right. Im happy, but it still feels like its not good enough for people around me. I dont want to think about moving, about space, about death or anything. In a way I just want to go back to going to school, and not worrying. I have a headache. I dont want to stay, and I dont want to go home. I dont know what Im going to do, people are always pressuring me from every which way, and I dont know what to say. I just dont know what to do anymore, about anything.

Prom was amazing. After Prom was amazing. Prom weekend was amazing. I had a really good weekend of pretending that the world didn't exsist, and spending time with the people I love. Friends and Boyfriend. I've had to bounce back into reality, and its kinda sad. I feel kinda old today.

"People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cut's long gone, the pain still lingers."

Well I finally have a new computer! OHMAHGOSHYAY!!! But the only thing is that its really not mine, its my dads. My old fucked up one is mine though, and I'm getting it fixed....with VISTA! hahaha And no vista doesnt suck. to me anyways. its really not totally like the mac commercial. It does ask you to do alot of things, but its not annoying like. Its pretty cool actually. I can't wait to get the other one fixed, then I wont be on this one. because my other one will have internet. w00t! So right now as it stands I dont have photoshop, but thats alright, I will get buy. Im soo cool ;) lol yeah right. Im a little worried about a couple of things though. I dont know, someone I know hasnt been the nicest to me. Or everyone actually. This person has been quite an ass. And its hurt alot of people. Including me. Some people have seemed to resolve things with him, but no one speaks up for me. sigh, oh well, i guess i will work this one out myself when i get the chance. Sometimes I hate people. They can be to two-faced.

Some people may think that actually saying that your life sucks, and you feel like dieing is just over dramatics. People complain about their lives each and everyday and someone is always there to tell you that people all around the world have it worse then you. Like you complain about your boyfriend breaking up with you, and someone can always come up with the “there are starving kids overseas, you know. Your life isn’t that bad at least.” You have trouble with your parents and someone is always there to tell you “You know there are some people with no parents, so it’s not that bad.” Well, you know what; I’m really sick and tired of someone telling me, it’s not that bad. Because to me, it really is that bad. I may not know what its like to starve, but I know that I would rather be an orphan in an unknown country than have the parents I have now. And I know that I would rather live in an actually war zone, then the mental war zone I live in now. I’m not saying that I’m trying to be selfish, but I am being selfish. I am allowed to speak out about what is bothering me. I am allowed to have a voice in my own. Does the fact that there are people suffering all over the world make my suffering any less important? My life just plain sucks sometimes. That is what I have to say, that even though I know people around me, people in distant countries, and people all over the world might be having a crappier day then I am, that I am human, and I feel pain too. My pain might not be as great as another’s, but I feel it just the same. Let’s focus on the bad in my life for one second, I am going to list everything that can make me cry, and just plain get me down. Let’s start off at the root of all the problems I have in my life, one simple word. Mother. My mother…well let’s not say mother. More like the woman who gave birth to me. In my mind her name is Sarah now. Well, Sarah, being the dead beat mom she is, has caused me so much pain over these last few years. I’m sure someone knows how it feels right? Well not all of your mothers and fathers are perfect, right? At least one of you has a parent that has left. And I’m not talking about when you were little, and couldn’t know any better, I mean in the last 4-5 years. When you knew better, you knew right from wrong, and you tried to love everyone to the fullest. I trusted her, and no matter how badly she treated me at times, I loved her. For years, and years she brainwashed me. I was little, and I didn’t know any better. Then she just left, left everything. I am not going to go into detail about the 3 years in between then and now. I will just tell you recently. I have decided that I am finished with her. Everything that has happened over the years, I’ve decided I have had enough. I am done with her. I don’t ever want to speak to her again. My final decision was made when yet again, she choose to care more about a moron that abused her then her own two children. Of course when she found out that I want nothing to do with her, she decided that it was all my fathers fault. Which it wasn’t. But now I have to try and escape from her on Monday. She says she is going to come see us, but I don’t see that happening. I wrote a letter for her, and I am going to be as for away from my house as I can be. Then there is my Dad, who I love to death no matter what he does. But he has one problem, drinking. And because of that problem, he causes a lot of others. Sometimes he is really good with not wanting to drink, other times he’s not. Sometimes he makes m e feel like he doesn’t care what other people think about it. But I know he is really trying to make him self better. Then there is always the little problems that come with it. Jenn, my dads girlfriend, is like a mother to me. I really care about her. And when my dad drinks, things get messed up between them. A lot of the time I don’t know whether he’s coming or going. That really messes me up sometimes, because of the whole thing to do with my mother. Right now I am not really sure where it is at either. I’m not really sure if its alright between the two of them or not. Then there is my grandmother, who constantly brings me down. I am all wrong to her. I cant say anything right, I can’t do anything right. To her all I do it piss and complain to her. But its all her. She snaps at me, and treats me like crap. I seriously want her dead. She will sit there and snap at me over something so small, and then the next thing I know she’s talking about me behind my back saying that I’m snapping at her. I really cant wait till I am away from her. There are a lot of bads in my life, but you always have to remember the goods too. One of the biggest goods in my life is John. I love him so much, and he loves me. We plan a life together. To tell you the truth, we’ve planned everything from where we are moving in together, to the names of our children. I love him more than words can describe and he is seriously my shining light. Sometimes things don’t always go that great, and like normal people we have our disagreements. But in the end we always work things out to the better. I am not saying that we are perfect. We’ve worked really hard to get where we are, and that’s the thing about a relationship, you have to work at it. It’s a two person job that takes a lot of give and take. We know how to work things out between us, and we know what to do and not to do. In the end it works out to us being really, really happy. When I say my life sucks, I don’t mean that its terrible. I mean that at the moment, Im not happy. This is not where I would like to be. It means that I am not doing what I want to do, when I want to do it, and how I want things to go. I mean I don’t expect everything to be perfect, but I at least want control over my own life. Someday I will have that, but right now, I can barely keep up with everything.

Haha my computer almost had it a while back there. I seriously thought it would never work again. But We got it to work. Not perfectly like we wanted to, but back its good old no start bar self. But my key board is toast, but we got a new one. SO YAY! lol Thats why I'm actually putting an effort into writing an entry. My keyboard it pretty cool. Well this week has been alright, well apart from a few things. Some people haven't been that great towards me. Someone is actually making me feel pretty crappy. But of course this person doesnt realize it. Oh well, there is nothing I can really do. School is going pretty well. Im really enjoying art class and comtech. But for my American History ISU I have to figure out what Im doing. I want to do soemthing with womens rights. Ugh well Im being kicked off the computer now because my brother wants "alone time" with Jenna....ugh. God I wish thte computer wasn't down here sometimes. [edit] People are twofaced....thats all I got to say.

-Got another job interview...didnt get the job. -have another job interview for tomorrow. -im not in a good mood -people suck -i've got satelite -my life is too fucked up

Just some stuff on my mind. Point form again. -Pizza Hut sucks. Ass holes hired my brother, and the sister of some girl. -Karen, Colton and Jesse's mom, totally just put her neck on the line to try and get me a job at price choppers. -Dad's drunk -School is cool...i guess. -Dad's drunk -Brother's high -Dad's high -Dad's drunk -Julie and Dave(next door) had a fight. Boy did I get a rude awakening that Durham cops are shitty. Julie was hit, Dave got away with it. Cops were rude to a battered women, and a disabled child. Pigs. It makes me want to do something -Jenn's gone....for good... -Talked to my Dad, he knows Im moving. He's upset, but hes not going to stop me. Knows I have to grow up sometime. -Dad got drunk and ruined a moment, made me cry. -My mom is addicted to Crack, Cociane, and E. -Scratch that, I dont have a mom, its just the women who gave birth to me. -Dad compared my wrist to his drinking. -I feel like the teachers pet in english -Im proud I knew something the teach didnt in comtech -History is fun -I worry about my dad, but he doesnt care. Pretty sure he's drunk. -I've been treatened with "Auntie Linds" by my future niece....man I feel old. -All people obsess over is drinking, its really starting to bother me. -Someone important to me, said something importand and made me feel better. -I miss someone right now. -I look forward to tomorrow -And I am NOT like her....dont ever say that again. Thats all....the world sucks sometimes.

OK! FAST UPDATE! -Job interview tomorrow -Looking forward to this semester -Im happy about Comtech. For two reasons, computer is crack to me. And I actually get to spend time in class with two people who actually qualify as a friend -ART WITH OUT HARLOF! *dances* -I actually like English -Im happy, I might have a job. -Looking forward to valentines day. -I have to call the clinic....SOON -No, I'm not preggo, I need to get a neddle. -Save money for two reasons(just-in-case and 12 string guitar) -Im nervous about tomorrow. -Today was great...JUST GREAT! I mean it really. The day started off kinda crappy. I was kinda put after an inatimate object. But then when I spent the day with him it was like home. I cooked, cleaned, and spent time doing at home stuff. It was like a real taste of living together. -Yeah...this is cliche, but I miss him. Yeah, I realize that this entry is kinda in code, only a few people will get it. Oh well, my journal, my life, my writing. Oh Im so nervous...I really need this job. PS. Note to self: Don't forget to call for a THIRD time >_>

You know what I hate. Arguments. Cold weather. Bad days. Horrible teachers. Short goodbyes. Goodbyes in general. Hanging up. I hate alot of things sometimes, sometimes its just to much to list... ...but you know what I love. Happy moments. Long hugs. Passionate kisses. Great friends. Laughing. Looking forward to tomorrow. Cuddling when its cold. Solft blankets. Warm skin. Sometimes I think of all the things I hate, and all the things I love, and the love and happiness always weighs out the bad, and I smile. Because I know that no matter what most of the time Im happy. I know that if Im having a bad day, something will make it better. Thats why I love life. Thats why I look forward to each day. Thats why I can't wait for the future. Thats why I love you. Because no matter what, no matter all the bad times, I always know you make me happy in the end. I always know you will love me, and that small arguments are normal. I always know that you are there for me, even if I told you to leave you would stay. So no matter what, you always make me happy. I love you.

Im actually happy. For once in a life time I've actually made it to happy. Tomorrow is our 8 month anniversary, Now 8 months is a long time to some people, but it sorta isn't, and it sorta is. Not when you plan for the future. My mom is finally actually trying, although I don't think she ever got my e-mail. My dad has a job, and even though its hard work, hes still happy. Im setting goals, and its making me happy. Although some things are shitty, I look on the bright side. I love life today :)

I actually wrote this today, And sent it. First time in a long time I've told her how I actually feel. _______________ Hi Mom. Its great that your getting things sorted out, and your feeling better. Sorry I've been really busy lately, I haven't had much of a chance to call. I've got alot going on in school and with life really. In school I have 4 big projects, and Im failing physics. So I have to get my mark up, and do those projects. But Im doing really well other wise. 95 in art, 85 in ancient history, and 82 in writers craft. Plus John's aunt is in the hospital, and there is alot going on there. She's really sick, and they think she might not make it. John's upset about it, and Im kinda sad, cause I liked her. Other than that I've just been really busy. Well not totally busy, But when ever I have the time to call, I never know what to say. I dont want to hurt you, but Im sick of lying to myself and you. Everything thats happened, for the past 3 years has really hurt me. Its hard to have you come and go so much, and to tell the truth, I've actually developed a phobia. Its called Athagoraphobia, and its the fear of being abandoned. Everything thats happened has really messed me up. And messed alot of other things up. I'm just tired of being hurt, I want to believe in you, and hope that you'll stick around longer, and keep your promises. I want to know what it feels like to have a mother who really does care about you. Although you say you do, sometimes the things you did made it feel otherwise. I don't know what or who to believe anymore. Over the last few years I've had to go through alot, and learned alot about what happened. I think I know more than you realize. I feel a little hurt that you never tell me the truth. I've also developed this hate of being lied too. I know alot, although you dont bother to tell me, I do find out. But what Im trying to say is that, one of the hardest things I've had to go through was finding out about your atempted suicide. I found out from Dad, Nanny, and David all talking about it infront of me. No one bothered to tell me. I was hurt. No one tells me much anymore, but it just hurt finding out that way. I mean your not the only one who's got screwed up over the last few years, I've just found a better way to deal with it then drugs and alcohol. I write. Maybe I haven't always been truthfull, but I've been told to be nice, and not to say anything. But Im confused, and scared. I'm scared of getting hurt again. Things are messed up, I want them to get better. But I try. Prove to me that I can believe in you again. I've forgiven you for things in the past, but I need to know that you really want to try again this time. I really need to know that your going to be there for me. I haven't had a mother for 3 years, I haven't had someone to turn to, someone to tell things too, someone to be there for me. I never had anyone there for me when I went through all the hard times, and good times. I've changed so much, and there is so much I want to tell you. I want my mother back. Someone who was there for me, someone who never betrayed me, someone i felt that loved me. Im in love now. Think me foolish or not, I dont care. I really can see the rest of my life with John. We have plans for the future. I was never stupid, and i was always responsible. The day I turned 17, I thought alot about where I would be if i were you. When people would tell me that having a child at 17 would ruin my life, i started thinking, about how i must of ruined yours. It bothers me all the time. I think about where you and dad would be if i never exsisted, maybe you both would be happy living your own lives. I don't believe you would be togther, but I think sometimes that Im the reason that you two are unhappy. When bad things happen to you, I blame myself. Im just really messed up. If it wasn't for John being there for me, I dont know what would become of me. He's very important to me, and I really was looking forward to you meeting him. He was there on monday when you were supposed to come. He helped me alot through that day, so did my teacher Ms Gillard. You met her, shes a nice woman, she looks out for the kids in our school. If your in one of her classes, she makes sure your alright. She loves me and david, shes always going on about how we are so alike. But shes there for us when we need someone. She was there for me too. I dont mean to hurt you by telling you some of these things, but I need to tell you. I need you to know that you hurt me, and that Im scared. That I need you. As much as i resented you, and wanted nothing to do with you, i need you. Not the way you were, I need you to care, I need you to be the way you used to be. I just hope everything works out for us. I really need you back. I seriously haven't cried so much in my life as i have in the past 3 years, especially in the past 7 or 8 months. I need everything to get better. Love Lindsey

Im happy, I am. I know I am. I will be happy, because I have to. Because I am. I dont make sense, Im just trying to forget bad things, and look at the happy things. Which isnt much. Im sitting here home alone, my dad kept me out of school today, and we are going shopping later. Jenn...she hurt me. Ever time I think about it I cry. I've already cried about 5 times this morning. Being alone doesnt help. What do you do when life seems to bittersweet. Lets just add a possible visit from "mother". Oh Joy Really. Whats wrong with life? Anyone else having that? the whole one little good thing happens, and a ton of bad follows it? Really, someone just save me from myself today.

Well I'm sitting here in writers craft, bored out of my mind. Its the yearbook assembly, so the monster is busy with all that. I really dont want to do my work, because its retarded, and i dont feel like writing a childresns story. I don't know, the last couple of weeks have been messed up. Of course really great things have happened. Like me staying over at Johns house for a night, and then the whole weekend. But it just seems to be some emotional rollorcoster for me right now. My Dad and Jenn seem to be broken up for good now, and of course I cried a good hour about it. My Dad got drunk and did something, and she said thats it. She doesnt seem to be coming back. Half of me hopes they work things out. Well all of me actually. My dad is really depressed right now, and I dont know what to do. He got all upset yesterday, he blames himself for everything, and he feels really bad that he let me and my brother down. I just told him the truth, your my Daddy, I will fogive you for anything. It doesnt matter what happens, you will always be my Daddy. That seemed to make him feel better. I know this is really serious, because usually, when my Dad and jenn have a fight, hes all like I cant deal with her bullshit anymore, blah blah blah, but this time he knows he did somethign wrong, and that he screwed up, and he feels really bad. He would do anything to go back in time and fix it. The reason why I am so effected is that she was a mother to me, more than anyone else has been, even my own mother. And because my mother left me, I get really upset when people i care about leave me. I just feel like no one can stay, like everyone leaves me in the end. There are only 3 people in this whole entire world who will never leave me. My Father, my brother, and John. I love them all more than anything because I know they will always be there for me. I dont know, i seem to be really messed up lately, I really dont know whats wrong with me. Sometimes i feel like i act to much like my mother, like im becoming just like her, and that scares me. Everyone knows she doesnt have the ablity to love. Im scared that im going to be like that, and end up driving away everyone around me. It scares me sometimes because I feel like Im going to end up just like her, and Im just going to drive away everyone. Everyone I love and hold dear to me. I dont want that, I never want that. But It scares me all the time. I dont think many people understand me, how I can be. How I think Im mentally screwed up in the head. I know there is something wrong with me, i just dont know what it is. I dont see myself becomeing like my mother, I know I wont, I will do anything not to. I just dont know anymore. The only person who keeps me from going entirly insane is John. he keeps me alive. I seriously think i would be dead without him. I dont know anymore. Im sick of ranting for now. ----- Something I wrote earlier. Ugh. I hate life sometimes.

Well this long weekend was really good, and really bad at the same time. Good things happened, and a few bad things happened. Its all really screwed up right now. Im kind of upset about a few things as well. My Dad and Jenn seem to be breaking up, and I don't know, its like I'm loosing someone too. And because of all that, my dad drank on saturday, when i heard that it pretty much ruined my dad. But thanksgiving dinner with John's family was really great. It was just perfect, i felt like i belonged there, like that i was accepted. Like i was the only one there actually not part of the family, but i felt like family really. They made me feel really welcome. John says they liked me cause he talked to them yesterday about me. They asked questions about me and stuff. I just had a really great day. And then it got even better. I stayed the night. Johns dad fell asleep, and i felt really bad about waking him up, because he had work the next day. So i called my grandmother to see if i coule stay, at first she was going to come pick me up. But she called back saying that my dad said I could stay. So I stayed the night, and went home the next morning. Sunday was kind of boring, and I did nothing. But I have been thinking about things lately. I dont know. I dont really have alot of time to write everything down. I'll get back to you all later.

Well I’m just sitting here bored really. Well I should be doing my writers craft homework, but then again, it’s not really homework. I choose to bring it home. I might work on it if I feel like it; I still have to have a shower. I’ve basically got no time to be on here, but after the last few days I just have to unwind. Well I have been thinking lately, thinking about what I want to do with my life, and thinking about where I want to be after high school. A few weeks ago if you asked me what I wanted to do, and where I wanted to be, I would have told you that I wanted to go into graphic design at Durham, and move in with John. Well that’s sort of changed now. For the longest time I’ve been contemplating whether I should take a year off or not and lots of people have told me many things. That it’s a bad I idea, that you will regret it. That you should, that it’s a good break, and a good experience. I’ve decided that, that is what I want to do. I want to take a year off, and still move in with John. But I don’t think I will be living here in Oshawa or going to Durham. John and I have been talking about things, and he wants to help his mother in Thunder Bay, but at first I didn’t want to go, so he wasn’t going to go. I though about it for a while, and that’s where I got to thinking, I’m already going to take a year off, and then I’m not sure if I want to go into graphic design anymore. So why not just go. So that’s it, after a small period of living at Johns house, we are going to save up, and move. Of course I’m scared to go somewhere new; of course I’ll miss my best friends. I’ll stay in contact though. I never want to loose the good ones. The only family I’m going to miss is my brother, and my father. But me moving out is a good thing. Because my dad can finally move in with Jenn. I know he doesn’t want his children moving away, but this will be better for us all. He can live with Jenn, they can be happy, and I can be happy. We will have a family, but I will just be away. That’s part of the reason why I want to leave. My father is happy, and sometimes I feel like I’m holding him back. I’m almost an adult now, and I can make my own choices, and he really loves Jenn, but because me and my brother he can’t really move in with her. I think this will help him in the long run. Of course I love my father, and I will stay in contact with him, but he can have his own family. Marry Jenn, and be as father to her two children. I’m not really a part of that, and I understand. Of course I look at Jenn as almost a mother figure, but I’m not a direct part of that family. I need my own family as well, I need to grow. I’ve finally found the love of my life, and I know he’s not going anywhere, and I need to be on my own with him. It’s not about sex, like some people would think. This is about life, and love, and a family. We just want to be together, and that’s how we want our life. Anyways, I think I’m pretty much done. I need some sleep.

Its been forever since I've used this thing, well maybe not forever, but a while. I remember when i used to write on thi like everyday, even if it was a short entry. I used to always have something to say. Well i still have something to say everyday, but its not as important, or i dont seem to have anytime, or I dont want the people who read this to find anything out they shouldn't. There are certian things that people just dont want to read about in the first place. Well lately, i've had a couple of good moments, and a couple of bad moments. I've felt like i've been forgotten. And felt like i was unloved. But then found out that it was a miss interpertation, and still feel a little forgotten. Lets start with the forgotten. Well about a month ago was my birthday, and my dad didnt have enough money to buy me a real gift. and recently, my dad comes home and is spending a whole bunch of money. And i didnt get a gift. Plus the fact that it felt like he was drinking too. And that just upset me. And stuff happened between me and john. He said one thing, and then we got into a little talk about stuff. and basicly he said that he felt like he should be over possesive, and over possesive to me means that im an object, and that i cant be trusted, and that he has to own me. and to me that feels like he doesnt really love me, and i started to cry, and everything came out, but after we talked for a bit, he told me thats not what he ment, and he does love me. and by the time he left we were all happy again. It was a messed up weekend. But tomorrow is school. And I have a lot of homework. =( uugghhh Save me.....please!

Alright, so remember all the angry updated I had last year when I was in yearbook class? Well high-de-ho, I’m in another one of Solorzano’s classes. I’ve had her every single freaking year since I’ve been at this school! I’m thankful for one thing though; she doesn’t seem to be as bad in this class. She wasn’t all that bad in drama, but she still pushed on a lot of work. Maybe it’s because I actually want to do the work in this class. This morning was alright, but I wouldn’t say it was great. I had timmy’s in the morning, which was good, but then I got to school, and things kind of went down hill from there. I’m still kinda feeling what I was feeling this morning. Not that anyone really cares. I need to get some things off my chest though. I’m probably going to write a private entry after I write this one. Well we finally got a car, so that’s a good thing. I no longer have to take the bus anywhere anymore. I’m happy about that. Jenn is going to get me a job at Zellers too. She says the job sucks, but its money, and I need it. With Johns birthday coming up, and the concert day closing in. I need cash. Hopefully I will be able to get money soon. I can’t wait to go to the concert. I’m really excited too, because I might be getting a backstage pass. That means possibly meeting Ville Valo, and getting his autograph. Im also in need of new clothes lol and I keep seeing clothes everywhere that I want. My grandmother is taking me to this vintage thrift shop on the weekend, maybe, hopefully I will come back with some new t-shirts, and maybe a jacket of some sort. I could use a new jacket. My mother took the one I had, which I really loved. School has been good, now that I got out of fitness, and into physics. Although I hate math, I would rather be doing math then step aerobics. Then I have writers craft, ancient history, and art. I’m very happy with all my classes for this semester. I still need a good nights sleep though.

The Rasmus - Ice I see you try to avoid me You ain't so friendly Cold like ice, I can see what that means Let me explain first why I haven't been around I let you know why I haven't seen you every day Been busy with the band, if you know what that means I heard you’re talking things about me, building barricades around me So real friendship Wasn't real at all, it seems And if it's so that you're talking shit behind my back, I'll let you know I can fight back in the cruelest way So I'm asking for peace, if you know what that means Say it again if you want to depress me (say it again, da da da da da) Say it again, go ahead I feel nothing Say it again if you want to depress me (say it again, da da da da da) Say it again, go ahead I feel nothing You wanna say something to me Come and say something to me What is wrong with you, may I ask And if it's so that you’re talking shit behind my back, I’ll let you know I can fight back in the cruelest way So I’m asking for peace, if you know what that means Say it again if you want to depress me (say it again, da da da da da) Say it again, go ahead I feel nothing Say it again if you want to depress me (say it again, da da da da da) Say it again… I feel nothing And if it’s so that you’re talking shit behind my back, I’ll let you know I can fight back in the cruelest way So I’m asking for peace, if you know what that means Say it again if you want to depress me (say it again, da da da da da) Say it again, go ahead I feel nothing Say it again if you want to depress me (say it again, da da da da da) Say it again… I feel nothing Say it again if you want to depress me (And if it’s so that you’re talking shit behind my back) (say it again, da da da da da) (I’ll let you know that I can fight back in the cruelest way) Say it again, (So I’m asking for peace) I feel nothing (if you know what that means) Say it again if you want to depress me (And if it’s so that you’re talking shit behind my back) (say it again, da da da da da) (I’ll let you know that I can fight back in the cruelest way) Say it again, (So I’m asking for peace) I feel nothing (if you know what that means)