Okay so I wrote this as sort of a letter to Adam, and figured that since he writes stuff like this all the time, I might as well put this here too. So here it goes… Hun, you know I love you and wouldn’t do anything to ruin our relationship, right? Well lately I’ve been feeling as if everything I do is wrong. I know you think it’s you, but in my eyes it sometimes seems to be me. I can’t be me without you getting upset or mad at me, I will admit that sometimes I do stupid stuff, but it seems that nothing I do is right. I can’t be close with my best friends’, or hangout with them while you’re at work without you making remarks about it. You hangout with your/our friends while I’m at work, it bugs me a little that I can’t be there but I get over it and don’t say anything. I think maybe your jealous over Amanda. She’s just my best friend, we’re not lesbian lovers or anything. She’s second to you in my heart. Is that hard to believe, that you can actually love your friends? Well I do. We try to include you in our conversations but you always refuse to talk. Though you claim it’s because we just talk and leave you out of it. The other day you were talking to Amber in the truck about someone, and I kept asking questions about your convo and you bit at me that I didn’t know the person so it didn’t matter. It pissed me off. You were already being a jerk that night, and yet I was taking an interest in you and stuff and you bit my head off… I don’t understand why your jealous of her. Or if you are? Is it that she’s my best friend? Well you’re my boyfriend so that outweighs best friends in 99.9% of things. Is it that you feel I tell her really personal stuff about us? Or things that I don’t tell you? Well Amanda and I talk about everything and anything, but I leave private details out because it’s secret, just between you and me. Plus I tell you everything Is it that I’m close with someone other than yourself? I don’t know what to say to that. Other than you’ll have to accept that I’m close with people. I know no other way to put it, other than that. I’m not just going to stop being close with them because your jealous that maybe I’ll run off with them or something. That’s where that wonderful thing called trust comes into play. I would never do that, and I don’t know how to prove it to you either. You mentioned about how you’ve grown bored of me. I don’t understand how that’s possible. I’m one of the craziest people I know, I noticed we’ve stopped going out places the past few weeks but I think that’s just because we’ve barely seen each other lately and would rather just hangout at home laying around instead of out and about. But if that’s wrong then tell me. You want to do something next time? Then speak up about it. I think this month is just getting to you. The extra hours at work, the final year of High School, your family, last year. And it’s all just building up and bombing you all at once. It’s alright, because I’m here for you every step of the way. No matter what happens if you ever need anyone I’m just a phone call away. I’ll be there to pick you back up when you think it’s time to give up. Tonight was a huge disaster. I don’t think I’ve cried so much or been so scared in my life. I hope we can overcome this. ♥ I love you A.L.F. ♥ With all my heart, and more. You make my days better. Together you and I can conquer the world.♥ Are you ready for that? To hold my hand and face the world together? Never wondering if we can do it, just knowing that we can and will. When you’re ready, I’m here. Just let me know and we’ll begin the journey all over again. I don’t think the world will see it coming. I’ve made my decision. I’m in it for the long haul, if you are. I love you with all my heart. Please know and remember it always. Night, Love Meaghan. Also I have something else to add. I was told today that I seem to be changing, that I’m not ‘me’ that I’ve changed my values because I was thinking of getting a piercing. (OMFG! I’ve been thinking about it for years.) But since I only mentioned it now, I only want one because Amanda got one. That she’s been influencing me to get one that I really don’t want or approve of. And shit like that… Well she’s not influencing me of anything. I just thought it was time to try/do something different. I’m tired of people telling me that I wouldn’t do that, or that I’m too quiet and chicken to. So just get off my case!! That’s all. I hope you learned a lot about me from reading this. It took me an hour to write it. Now I’m dead tired. Night.