There are many things in my life i am not proud of. There are too many regrets and things i want to change, but i try not to hold onto these thoughts. I learned early to hold onto the things and people I love and let go of the anger and frustration. This, i suppose, is where the line gets blurred, and feelings get hard. I have seen deep despair in others' eyes, and felt despondent from deep within my soul--and i have picked up the pieces, and then dropped them and broke them worse thna before...smashed them until i couldnt recognize the whole picture...until i couldn't recognize the person in the mirror. for what it's worth, i hope you're having fun in california without me. From the bottom of my heart, i wish you the best. good luck.