I feel depressed but there's no specific reason except discontent with myself. It's not even 'let's not go to school tomorrow' depressed, because I think that would make it worse. There is nothing left and I am tired and angry and sad. Constantly. I see people running but they are in slow motion and I wonder how a poet would write them down, how an artist would paint them, but I am just me and all I can do is watch until they run away and I am left with nothing tangible, just memories of that one hot day. I am talentless, alone. Not fearless but anxious, waiting for the day to come when I will be free, though I'm not sure how it will begin or end. Sometimes listening to no music is the best music, but sometimes the silence seeps into your body and makes it want to scream. I can't describe why I feel this way, I canticant, I just know that if I were Ralph I would be sad, I would be so fucking sad. Though maybe I am him, stuck on an island with waters and beasts and anger and voices surrounding me. I really should finish the book, I should. I'm sick of starting fucking msn conversations. There are only a few people I even am willing to do that for, but I don't know why I bother because if they even like dme enough to want to talk to me they'd do it themfuckingselves.