That dumb ;kadlfkafa

So yeah. I've been up since 4, sicne me and my stepmom were supposed to leave to go shopping at 4 30. It's 6 30 now. She says that she'll start getting ready as soon as my dumb baby sister wakes up again. AGH. Why is it whenever I get excited over something I'm always just let down. Seriously. That's why I cried yesterday. My dad just things I'm retarded, hell, I probably am. But this is really the only day me an dmy stepmom get together for the hwhole day and have loads of fun just the two of us, and now this dumb family is ruining it all. I've been looking forward to this day for the past 2 months and nobody seems to give a shit. Whatever. I'm just in a bad mod right now. People sometimes think I'm pretty dramatic, but really, I'd love for them to trade places with me for awhile. Not even bodily...just in mindsets. I want to see you sad. I want you to cry and then tell me how it feels. I want you to know what it feels like to not know what the hell is happening with aything. I want you to be lost and confused, cold and alone. Then maybe you'll fucking care about other people. Like I said, don' take that statement literally. All of that would be in a state of mind. Not like shivershivercoldcold. How cliche...but I wish somebody understood me ::slashes wrist:: Totally fucking joking. I haven't done that in the longest time, and I don't intend to either. I don't even care if I'm sadder than sad, fucking suicidal. Nobody is getting the satisfaction of seeing my battered arms. Have a nice day.
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