Idont want to go to jersey. I want to stay here with him. Even though he doesnt lover me. I doubt he ever did. but still. the point is i love him and that is all that metters. I want to be with him. By his side like a friend and a brother. Because i know we cant and never will be lovers. I need to movecon. and in a way i have but. in others i havent. i ish he would stop pushing me away then pulling me back in. I am so glad that he is going to be ok. It is hard to see him when he is not. it sucks. still love him but who cares? It doesnt matter to hiim. Goin 2 Jersey. Running away to NY office for a while. I need time to think. And make the right choice. I love him. And allways will. I know that. Call you when i get there Eclipse. Eclipse2: I love you. see you Monday or something. I wish you came with us. Navybrat08: is it ok to be heartless now?