I feel like I sort of failed. I sort of failed myself.. Like I sort of have up for a while there.. And now I'm paying for it. I want to fast forward through the college years.. I want to know who ill be with and what it will be like. I want to skip right to building my life.. My career.. Family.. All that. From the way we act.. The way we are I wouldn't doubt the possibility of marrying him but at the same time I think college is going to be my time to let go of this.. Leaving it at the fact that we care so much about eachother but now its time for me to do my thing and sort things out on my own. I don't really know how to look at things. I don't know what I'm doing.. I hope things start to work and make sense.. I'm so ready to do the school thing and break away. I'm just so unhappy with staying here.. God its going to be so bad but I things will sort themselves out sometime