something about the morning train is very peaceful. It's very calming and quiet and I really enjoy it. in principle... it's early and I'm tired. my last thing I sounded.. conceited.. really conceited.. I'm not! I swear I'm not.. I just see how things are.. I have a very bold personality. I'm certainly not quiet and I think my sarcasm draws attention.. great example: Q had a little party the other night so I went over after dumb crap but anyway I went over and it was just Gabby, this girl Stacey and I for girls and probably 8 or so guys by the end of it. Q and I owned at pong.. but anyway I was sitting on a stool talking to someone.. Q.. and someone else I think Kyle kind of in the corner and behind me at the kitchen island were like 4 guys and one of them who knew me from work.. that I vaguely remember.. was talking about how I am the girl that gets the attention and I just love it.. and I just.. I dont know.. it's true? but the love it part isn't necessarily true. because when people give you all this attention and want to be with you all the time and circle you at a party it's just .. irritating. but he was also saying stuff like oh when I first met you when you sold me a ticket I knew.. I knew you were a pistol.. blah blah .. I guess people.. I don't know. my personality is intriguing to a lot of people.. I'm a good girl but I can play when it's time. I'm smart but I am balanced. I am a little blunt.. and maybe a little too harsh sometimes.. but people like being told the truth. So seth said to me the other night, "you totally understated what's going on between you and Q".. "I saw the way you look at each other" I said WHATTT.. ha. it's true.. we were kind of eyeing each other.. but we weren't touching we definitely weren't all over each other and we weren't verbally flirting but we would find each other and talk and.. yeah. so around 3 or 330 he texted me and said come to bed.. my phone was in my bag so when I did see it I just ignored it hahhh. but gabby was going home so I walked her to her car and she drove me the block back to the house. And I went upstairs and he was like come to bed I'm going to bed... I was like hmmm. so I went in there and we kind of talked kind of made out a bit when we talked. I told him there was no way I would stay over. It was his punishment for not calling the night before ha and I was so tired. I had to work at 9 and by this time it was literally 345 and we made out and he wanted me to stay and I kept telling him no and I kept telling myself no. He said the night before he was so upset he didn't see me blah blah I told him that was crap and if he wanted to see me he should have called. And I told him he only talks to me when he's drunk and I was like what are you scared to talk to me? ha. I said he didn't even want me to come play that night when he had people over.. He said not true! and after arguing.. playfully.. he was ike no sex. if you stay then no sex. I just want to hold you blah blah and so finally I gave in. I shouldn't have. but it was like 4 and I was so tired and I had to be up at 715 so I just stayed. I totally gave in. I went out into the living room to get my bag and everyone stared blah blah someone (probably seth) said "how was it".. I was fully clothed... not a hair out of place.. I just stared. I said, moral of the story is, never leave home without sleeping undies. and went to bed. ha. I think he is holding my black Calvin Klein Undies hostage. for real. I don't know where they are.. I kind of looked? he's so awkward. I think that's why I am so drawn. at work yesterday he came in between boats and before the 5 he came in and said, oh, hello again. I'm like dude, lets go have a quickie in the bathroom for christ sake. kidding. I didn't say that. he wouldn't know what to say.. but after this week I won't be there so he is going to have to call me if he wants to see me.