its hard to say what is I see in you wonder if I'll always be with you words can't say and I can't do enough to prove its all for you. why are you so selfishhhh... and why am I... and why do I always get mad after we fight... we don't even fight.. we just suck. and it kills me. and I wish I knew that you were in this position. its a control thing. I wouldn't care if I knew you thought the way I did... god do I need to leave. I need to party. I neeed to tan... and go to the bank.. but I need to see you. after we have these... nights... I feel like I appreciate you so much... like after the last one I just decided to be nice. against all impulses to be mean and grumpy.. and it worked for a while. but I get tired. If I knew... like now.. that I wasn't going to see him tonight.. that i wasn't going to talk to him.. I wouldn't be so annoyed.. I'd go out.. and maybe even have an ok time. I love laying around with him. I just... don't love it... all the time.. I guess. he said he'd be done his things around 5... its 535.. and I dont know if I should jsut leave.. or wait... or arghhh. I don't want to call him.. he can call me. last night he just layed there with his arms crossed.. for over an hour. awesome. from what I gathered he didn't want me there so I left. and took some advil PM and went to sleep early. it kind of up set me... I'm going to go out. sitting here is dumb.