I don't know wether I'm coming or going. I don't want to stay here. I don't want to go away. I'm tired and scared and I don't know what to do. I don't want to stay. I don't really know if I think here is better. Safer maybe but better or more beneficial? Did I choose here over there because of him? Here is no better. I chose here cause of the money. Because I hated the school, because. Needed time to get it all together. I'm petrified. I'm horribly horribly scared and I wish I was going away and I was content with it and wanted to be there. Why has my life fallen apart. Why did nothing work out. And why am I so unhappy with what I'm doing. God what is wrong with me. I'm miserable.